A stranger to myself. I don't understand.

@bleepbloophello

Thank you. I understand it is in your experience. Not sure if you are saying it has your experience in the context of a mental breakdown of just generally when you are not feeling good about something.

Unfortunately, things passing seem like it takes a very long time. Using my brain all day for work and decision making leaves me do exhausted by the time I get to bed at night. The thoughts and feelings don't dissipate as quickly as if someone just had a bit so good few hours or just thinking about something that makes them upset.

To me it is like neverending just trying to get through it.

@Powderfinger it sounds like you have been through a LOT. All the relocation, not being in contact with family and everything else you've described. I don't know if a comparison is helpful but I have a relatively easy life at the moment and still get into knots in my mind and feel like I'm not coping at times. So I'm just saying, it sounds like you have a lot going on and it makes sense that it would be overwhelming. I don't have advice, but I hope things get a little easier soon. Sorry that's not more helpful. I'm glad you reached out though, and I hope you continue to do so if it helps.

Hi @Powderfinger

You have been through so much. It sounds like it's been relentless for nearly a year.

Just wanted to say I'm listening.

Also just so you know a thumbs up here doesn't always mean 'good', it can mean acknowledgment and solidarity.

Take care.

@frog

Hi, thanx for explaining the thumbs up. Relentless is a good description. Put me on the next flight to a deserted island. A vast majority of people aren't good listeners. So much goes unheard. I just don't know what to say orvdo.

Hi @Powderfinger

JP81 here ☺️

This post resonates with me and my life.
I feel for you , i understand you.
Know that you are not alone anymore.
Know that by having you reach out to me last night you helped me get through a rough rough day , month , months really.
You are strong, courageous, resilient and so brave!!
I dont k iw if this will help but...

I am PROUD of YOU!
for all that you have gone through and for the fact you are still trying.

sending support and compassion your way.
Am here to listen

☺️☺️☺️

@JP81 thank you for a beautiful response. It's people like yourself that allow me to feel (for a change) happy to make a difference. Actually to be honest, I get tears in my eyes. It also helps me to keep carrying on. It makes such a difference to one's life being appreciated.

Your response and things you have said, have helped. So, you can feel proud and happy for that too. I'm glad you came to Sane and reached out. The people here are beautiful, caring and supportive. A true community.

@Powderfinger Aww bless

This feeling of warmth is one to think of and remember in shitty situtations.
You are allowed to feel anything you want.
You have been through so much and deserve kind words of compassion , appreciation and underatanding.
I have felt more support since last night than i have i years being on here.
so thank you for that.
be ok with who you are

This is a journey and journeys have bends in them and road works etc...

Be proud of you!!
Your reply has made me feel happy

so thank you ❤️

@JP81 I take these occasional moments in life and allow them to do what they can for me. At this point in my life, im very weak in keeping myself propped up. Some days, I have no desire to talk or be with anyone. Just by myself.

This place is really great for compassion, understanding, kindness and when you just want to lose your shit without being judged.

It was a team effort last night. You too are worthy af everything good.

I'm really glad you feel happy tonight. It's been a pleasure to contribute to that.

@Powderfinger

There is nothing wrong with wanting time alone. Those times are when you are exhausted . Where you have used all your energy and need to re build that energy mentally and physically.
And its ok to be vulnerable - tho we hate vulnerability and find it difficuilt to be , even on a good day.

Take all the time you need. Your body and mind are needing that atm.

Im trying to be compassionate towards myself. It is sooo uncomfortable and i have no idea how to do that for myself, even tho i know its the same as being compassionate to others. This is a task given to me by my psychologist.. its not easy 🤦‍♀️

This place feels safe. And i am thankful to have a safe place to express myself without full detail, knowing i am understood.

Its nice to be supported.
its even nicer to hear you say it was a team effort.
You have been compassionate and understanding with me and others..

Try it with yourself. Step by step and day by day we as survivers if trauma can get better.

I hope that at some point today you have smiled and had a happy moment, even for a second. Because that smile and that second of happiness is progress and an acheivement

xx

@JP81 I'm two hours behind in WA so it is close to midnight for some people. Yeah, I'm definitely in permanent time out mode. I need so much rest and relaxation. I'm truly doing it this time.

About vulnerability. Hmmmm it's a difficult subject for me. I think there has to be safety in vulnerability. Especially for trauma survivors. It's instinctual and habitual to sniff out if it's safe to be vulnerable.

I'm.reslly not sure, it's a big topic. Compassion towards yourself happens with time. It is hard in the beginning. Super hard. I guess I have sn inquisitive mind. A curious mind. I think that us good with some balance. I read an article recently about being curious again like a child is curious. I liked the article. It came from a really positive angle. There are some things in life I am definitely not curious about.

I'm glad you feel safe here. I'm an extremely compassionate, generous, loving, kind and caring soul. I always have been. I'm changing a bit though. I need to give more if that to me. I've given so much to others and Ii have to try learn now to give it to me. Balance again. I simply can't save the world.

Yes, it was very much a team effort. That us the way I see it. I do appreciate however that you took the time to write and tell me how you felt about our interaction. I did smile once thus evening and laughed about something. It's something.