Undiagnosed for 30 yrs?

@Clarissa Welcome to the forums.

I will tag a few others who will be very helpful in answering some of your questions. There are quite a few here who understand the roller coaster ride, life come with at times.

I was pleased to read you are enjoying art. I do it also, and it is a life saver at times. We have a thread Craft Corner where we share some of our different interests. If you would like to add yours, you are welcome.

You are welcome to join any conversations on the forums.

A tip. The @ brings a dropdown, tags others.

@BPDSurvivor @outlander @Sans911

@Clarissa ,

BPD is often misdiagnosed as bipolar due to the mood swings, ups and downs, and manic episodes.

However, there IS a distinguishing factor:

Bipolar consists of episodes which last days, weeks, months. On the other hand, BPD consists of ups and downs which can be several times within an hour. The length of these episodes is what gives it away.

Also, co-morbidity issues can also occur which complicates things. You may have BPD AND depression which means you are depressed for a lengthy period of time.

In terms of treatment, bipolar and BPD strategies are very different. Long story short,

Bipolar can be a result of chemical inbalances in the brain which can therefore be treated with medication.

BPD is a result of mindset, and therefore it cannot be proven that medication supports BPD. Once again, if there are co-morbidities e.g. depression, insomnia, then medication CAN help. But the underlying principle is that BPD requires specific talking therapies to help change mindset. This involves developing and practising strategies to support mentalising.

This is a VERY brief summary. Of course there is a lot more to it. I was also diagnosed with bipolar AND BPD and put on mood stablisers for 10 years! Then, during one admission, I was told I definitely did not have bipolar and was taken off the meds immediately. Thank God for this!

BPD treatments take time. YOu cannot see a remarkable difference after one or two sessions. I have undergone intensive BPD treatment for 18 months, twice weekly, four hour session (individual and group thereapy). It worked wonders, but after 18months, it was only the beginning of change. From there, I had to work with different clinicians and to this day, still have weekly one-hour sessions. So yes, it is a LOOOOONNGGG process. But think about how long it has taken to set these mindsets in your mind in the first place? Treatment is about relearning how to think in a different, more effective way.

@Clarissa , while you are there in the clinic, make the most of the groups. MBT, DBT, ACT are probably the most effective treatments. In saying this, nothing will work unless you are willing to make changes.

Hope this helps a little.

@Maggie Thanks for tagging me 🙂

BPDSurvivor

Thanks for the replies...

My co-existing conditions are auto immune and connective tissue disorders, the probable diagnosis is bipolar type 1... my current manic episode has, we think, probably been going somewhere between a few weeks and a couple of months.

While I haven't officially been diagnosed, looking back over the last 30 yrs I have probably had at least one or two episodes per year but never with any reason to seek any further explanation. This admission was only supposed to be to learn how to manage an episode in case it happened during a scheduled hospital procedure later in the year.

Hi @Clarissa and welcome.

Can I ask, when you use 'BPD' are you referring to Bipolar, or Borderline Personality Disorder?

I was really amazed by your post because I share a similar experience in going undiagnosed for 30 years! I was treated for anxiety and depression since 15, and then 30 years later had a manic episode and landed in hospital. It was shocking at the time and lots of labels were tossed around. When I started seeing a specialist post hospital and he said Bipolar 1 I was in shock. Took me 12 months to come to terms with it, and a further 12 months to sort out medications.

Having said that, it helped me understand my experiences and live more fully. I look back now and so much makes sense.

All the best!

From what I understand Bipolar 1...

I have no history of anxiety or depression, the reason for my admission this time was that following gallbladder surgery I had an unrelated incident and thought that was when my manic episode started.

After discussing with my GP the possible need for a hospital procedure later in the year I thought I should get some help 'in case' another episode started.

My only other hospital stays have been when my daughter was born nearly 13yrs ago, a couple of day procedures and one other 'isolated' incident a few years ago that was put down to medication.

But, now I look back, I believe I have had manic episodes every year since I was a teenager.

I've managed my depressive cycles and had counselling for other issues, which is why the psychiatrist thinks I've never been diagnosed.

I'm just swinging between relief that there's a reason for my somewhat erratic behaviour at times, and confusion over what it all means.

Hence I'm here...

@frog ,

Thanks for trying to clarify things. I'm really confused now.

BPDSurvivor

Sorry, I think I misused BPD when I meant bipolar Type 1.

I have responded well to the mood stabilisers which would correspond with yoir summary Frog.

I think the plan is that I will continue as a private patient with the psychiatrist amd continue to learn about recognising my manic episodes, when they are spiralling and how to calm them down .

Hey @Clarissa no need to apologize. Various acronymns were confusing to me for a long time!

It sounds like you are getting good advice and given good treatment options.

Hope you're getting time to smell the roses and see beauty in the world.

Have a good one, frog.

Hi @BPDSurvivor @Maggie good to see you around. Hope you go well today.

@Clarissa ,

Thanks for clarifying. Disregard my previous post regarding bipolar versus BPD - it will TOTALLY confuse you. LOL. You must have been reading it and thinking 'what in the world is this person going on about?!?!?'

Anyway, it's great you are able to have time to reflect on your mental health. I guess it will support you in telling clinicians your need.

All the best!

BPDSurvivor

Now just to confuse you all, it seems more likely Bipolar 2 not 1 😉

Have had a really good appointment with the psychiatrist today, some really good sessions at the clinic, time at home and learning lots

Every day is a new day, teaching this 'old dog' new tricks, and relearning things I thought I had forgotten.

Biggest joy today was to hear my daughter say that she has noticed the difference in me in the time I have been here, that we arent arguing as much, that I'm not as erratic.

Trying to make any changes as much a part of 'normality' as possible so as not to send myself into a spin and trigger a spiral.

Hoping to be able to come here and participate as things settle when I go home, participate in the day program and learn to live with this 'new normal'