I can't anymore..

@Anon4 That's what I'm doing. Going for the ride. I've told coworkers, manager, boyfriend, father, family in other states. I've let emotional demons fly with everything. All is out. Yet.. every single person doesn't give a Fuck. I say can't alone, they say deal. They wanna play, I can play.. just don't understand why they want to play this version of the game LOL

Dunno, I've never done rock bottom myself. Partly because I'm not convinced systems are any better there either. Partly because privilege etc. Easier said than done, but literally your only job right now is to not be a danger to yourself or others. How you support yourself or get support can be through traditional mental health channels (sounds like that's not been a treasure trove for you either) or however the hell else you see fit to get your needs met. Seeing as I'm all but useless to help right now, I'm going to ask the basics: have you eaten/had water today? If not, or if not enough, start there. It might give you a little energy - you're still worthy of immediate help even if you have a little energy - don't cut off your nose to spite your face. I'll try to do the same.

Mentally healthy people, even the ones who are paid to be useful, are generally as useless and broken as ostensibly mentally unhealthy people, I reckon. I'm sorry there are no exceptions in your life to help you through that right now.

Oh, and sorry if I've effectively taught you how to suck eggs rather than sat with you in the pain that nobody is sitting with you in. Take the useful from what I've said, and cast aside the patronising. That's my junk, not yours.

@Anon4 you're keeping it real thanks so much, I'm totally with you. I'm afraid I'm gonna die though with rock bottom even though everyone is just. Waiting for me to implode. It's rude, unfair. I've SCREAMED B for help, and they wanna watch me burn? Why?

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@Strange wrote:

I dunno I always get on too late to talk to sane counselling which kinda help. Lifeline and Beyondblue are bad..

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Hey there @Strange,

Sorry to hear you haven't had a good experience with some helplines. I guess it's different for everyone and it depends who you end up speaking to and whether there is a therapeutic connection. I know people who appreciate having a counsellor or someone to talk to 24hrs.

I'm glad to see you here for some peer support.

See you around,

Sphinxly 🙂

No worries. I don't think they wanna watch you burn. I think they have no way to put out their own fire so are useless with yours. If you can develop some compassion around that (on the inside; I don't care how you choose to behave towards them externally), it might give you space to feel something besides rage and desperation.

Your job is to not die.

Your job is not to convince the people closest to you that they're inconsiderate arseholes for not caring about your suicidality.

Get through the worst of your own fire then figure out how to deal with jerks.

In the meantime, journal? Write the stuff you wish you had a useful helpline to share with then write what you wish their response would be?

With a glass of water by your side, damnit 😜

@Anon4 which coworker or family member are you?

The one who... oh, trick question!

I'm just an Anon on the internet who cares more about trying to wiggle some reprieve into your insides from their pain than about what other people are doing. They'll keep; internal compassion doesn't mean "never experience the consequences of their actions towards you". That would be harmful spiritual bypassing, imo.

You'll know what's useful for you to take on and what is best thrown in the bin re what I say.