Carers matter

@TBH Hey TBH it is a hard gig being a carer. So many emotions. People on the outside dont understand what it is like in reality unless they have lived it. I understand where you are coming from .... I often wonder where I am going with my son .... what will happen once myself and my husband have passed. What will happen to him. I worry and worry. This will sound awful but I hope he goes peacefully in his sleep before me then my worries will be over and I will know that his life has ended well and not in some situation like tht poor woman in south australia ..... uncared for and unloved. Does that make me a bad person?

@TBH

Yes, carers matter and there is support and help available and can I gently encourage you to contact the Carer Gateway and access these. Here is a link:

https://www.carergateway.gov.au/help-advice/home

Both practical and emotional supports are available and you may well be able to get someone to sit with hubby or take him for a drive while you take time out to do things for yourself.

As carers, sacrificing our own well-being and personal care is not healthy and when we do look after ourselves we become better carers. I have tagged you in a discussion thread giving carer tips which include looking after ourselves.

Another tip is to speak to your doctor, not the receptionist, about your need for help, it might also pay to check with hubby's GP what a reasonable expectation is in relation to blood pressure & blood sugar monitoring.

@TBH are there any options for respite if things get too much? I know when I am not coping, and I suggest such things to my hubby, he becomes less demanding because he doesn't want strangers in our life. But his needs are more emotional than physical. Still wearing though.

@Bunniekins

No it doesn't make you a bad person to want your son not to suffer or be alone. I have had similar thoughts with my husband. His illness is episodic though. So we have good times too. I have decided not to worry about what I have no control over. I just keep going and do what I can to cope.
Hope today is an ok day for you

hello @TBH , @JB70 , @Former-Member , @Bunniekins

I am a unpaid carer for my elderly mum

and my husband who thinks he is perfectly ok

sending understanding hugs

Thank you for understanding. You have to experience the situation to know how isolating and thankless it is. The person who was your partner in life is no longer the same person and doesnt know what you are going through. It is the battling alone that is so emotionally difficult. It is grieving for love and support and the old way of life you enjoyed together.. I talk about those times to my husband and it does keep me going. Thanks again for the support

A carers role can be lonely and difficult. Hoping today is brighter for you @TBH

@TBH

Yes. Let yourself grieve the loss of what you had. But then look for the joy that you can have within your limitations.
I was reading a discussion that @Shaz51 recommended when I first joined the forum that had a lot of helpful information. Carers hints and tips to success. Sorry I don't know how to do it as a link. 😆 You might have to search.

good afternoon @JB70 , @TBH , @Anastasia , @Former-Member , @Bunniekins

Carers Hints and tips to Success

and 8 dimensions of wellness

just click on the link and it will take you there

how is everyone going today xoxo

Thanks lovely @Shaz51 ,

I can honestly say that for the first time in 18 months my boy is improving!!! Let's hope it continues this way...