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The strain of having social anxiety

kellCasual Contributor25 July 2016, 7:25 pm AEST

The strain of having social anxiety

Ok I saw an ad on TV for this website for the first time yesterday.

Seeing as I have a serious case of social anxiety I thought I’d take a look.

Now here I am posting something.

I am feeling extremely isolated and would gladly like to read about someone else’s personal experience that they are currently having with social anxiety especially if it is an even more severe case than mine. The reason being that I want to feel that my symptoms are actually normal for someone with the disorder.

Here are some of my symptoms –

I purposely avoid contact with people & live an extremely isolated lifestyle.

I have no friends & contact with family is virtually non-existent.

I’m an extremely private person.

I live in a country city and many people know each other.

I never go outside to the front of my house in daytime in case I bump into a neighbour or passer-by.

I know that I need to exercise for my own physical wellbeing so daily I drive in my car approx 2 klms to somewhere away from my house and then go for a walk in streets where no neighbours or people will see or recognize me.

I’ve lived in this neighbourhood for 2 years but have purposely never spoken to anyone that lives in my street.

At night I go for a walk from my house, because it is dark.

I have my meals delivered and I only shop for other groceries when I really need them. My only interaction with anyone is to the checkout operator.

My contact with the outside world is via the internet and whilst the event was running I followed the Tour de France cycling on twitter and by watching the event on TV.

I have a kind of carer female friend acquaintance that contacts me once a week for catch up coffee or lunch at a cafe and I look forward to having that contact.

About every 3 weeks I have a counselling session with a psychologist. I don’t feel I am achieving much by going to those sessions and even feel I am going backwards. Medicare only cover about 10 sessions per year & I’ve almost used up my quota.

This solitary lifestyle has been in existence for about 2 years since a relationship break up and I am now beginning to feel the strain and there are some symptoms of depression beginning to appear as well. I’d like to break the cycle and have attempted doing some outings where there are people but for days afterwards the anxiety level ramps up even worse. So I back-off doing them.

There’s more I could write to example my case but now it might make me feel a bit better if I could read of your social anxiety especially if your symptoms happen to be even crazier than mine.

19 replies

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In response to: The strain of having social anxiety

etherial2Contributor26 Aug 2016, 4:56 pm AEST

Re: The strain of having social anxiety

😞 So hard, I'm with you, keep pushing against it, peek out of your comfort zone a little more each day. Avoidance actually makes it harder & harder. Keep trying different things.

In response to: The strain of having social anxiety

KD2016Contributor28 Aug 2016, 9:32 pm AEST

Re: The strain of having social anxiety

Hi Kell,

You are not alone! I have a social phobia too.

I would like to suggest reading novels or works of fiction, sister. Perhaps reading a collection of short stories may be a good starting point if you have not read for a while? I find reading can be at times very beneficial for removing my mind from its preoccupation with contemplating my own anxieties and inadequacies. Stepping into the world of literature can be very comforting and encouraging. Why don't you give it a try? Your local library is a great starting point if you need access to some books.

Please be assured you are not alone, Kell! You are a valuable person with intrinsic dignity, no matter what social phobia you suffer from.

In response to: The strain of having social anxiety

XstineCasual Contributor29 Aug 2016, 1:09 pm AEST

Re: The strain of having social anxiety

Hi Kell

Yes, I can relate but not to the extent you do. I was diagnosed with depression 2 years ago. I no longer have depression but I do have anxiety ... Generalised & social which is a huge one for me. My husband is an extrovert & I am an introvert (more recently) due to my anxiety & new lifestyle which ends up causing friction between my husband & I when we are invited out to social events. My first instinct is to panic & say I don't want to go.

I don't have many friends. I moved to a different state 4 years ago to be with my husband so I am not near any family or friends. I haven't worked for 3 years & we live out of town so the opportunity for me to meet people is limited. I want to make friends but don't want meet new people at the same time which drives my husband nuts.

I avoid talking on the phone. I won't answer a number if I don't know it & will text preferably! I only usually leave the house to buy groceries but whilst shopping avoid talking to anyone unless I need too. I absolutely detest clothes shopping as I can't tolerate the sales people.

A huge achievement for me a few weeks ago was meeting up with a girl I'd been chatting with from an online clothing group for a coffee. I was absolutely dreading going but I went & we had a really lovely day.

My husband has a HUGE birthday party coming up in 2 weeks which I've been stressing about for ages now. I try not to think about it but it's all he talks about as he is excited (understandably)! There are about 140 people coming (most whom I've never met) so as someone with social anxiety this is simply a nightmare for me!!!

In response to: Re: The strain of having social anxiety

kellCasual Contributor02 Sept 2016, 10:46 pm AEST

Re: The strain of having social anxiety

Ok, thanks to everyone who has read ‘The strain of having social anxiety’ posting & even made comment and those that shared some of their own story.

In the 6 weeks since I made the original post I had a downturn and was hospitalized as living such isolation got to me & there was a risk of self harm so I presented to Emergency Department at hospital & was admitted as an inpatient at a rehab hospital.

The first preference diagnosis by psychiatrist was depression. Less emphasis was given to social anxiety which I found hard to understand.

Was released from rehab after 2 weeks and am now on medication for depression.

Am living home alone again, have a case manager, and taking baby steps by trying to put myself out there a bit more.

eg when I’m feeling strong go for a very short walk from my house in daylight, and say hello if I see someone.

It’s too soon for the antidepressants to be working yet so I’m still finding it hard.

It would be good to be able to reply to some of your replies by private message but it doesn’t seem that members are able to do that here.

In response to: Re: The strain of having social anxiety

AppleblossomSenior Contributor02 Sept 2016, 10:53 pm AEST

Re: The strain of having social anxiety

Hello @kell

Sorry to hear about your hospital experience.

It is good that some supports are in place, though.

I had dreadful social anxiety when I was younger, bit by bit I get used to facing and socialising .. each human is a microcosm ... and we dont really know what they all think and feel.

Most people would be a bit anxious about such a gathering of 140 people .. I would see that as a healthy wariness of dealing with your partners past en masse.

Take care

Apple

In response to: Re: The strain of having social anxiety

BlueBellsSenior Contributor06 Sept 2016, 9:14 am AEST

Re: The strain of having social anxiety

Hi @kell 🙂

The best way to "individually reply" is to put the "@" symbol in front of their user name (as you see I have done with yours).

This will then initiate an email directly to that person, if they have the service enabled.

As the site is anonymous, although we all can see the posts, we don't know people in person, so that should help when dealing with the anxiety.

Personally, I think there is a fine line between social anxiety and depression. I might have said I lived with SA, but I'm sure it was just the screwed up thoughts/lack of self esteem, tied in with depression, that led to that feeling.

Hope this helped re messaging replies.

Hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂

In response to: The strain of having social anxiety

BeebeCasual Contributor15 Sept 2016, 12:21 pm AEST

Re: The strain of having social anxiety

To me sounds like you have no self confidence to not like being seen doing a little daily exercise and you like to isolate yourself maby you should only walk out side when the neighbour is out and say hello mm

In response to: Re: The strain of having social anxiety

Shaz51Senior Contributor30 Dec 2016, 2:30 pm AEDT

Re: The strain of having social anxiety

Hello @PixieMay

come and meet some friends @Beebe, @kell, @BlueBells, @Appleblossom, @Xstine xx

In response to: The strain of having social anxiety

Unknown userMember30 Dec 2016, 11:50 pm AEDT

Re: The strain of having social anxiety

OK, don't understand.

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