Reasons for not wanting to get better

@BlueBay I’ve read your post a few times. I see a little girl who was hurt, who is still hurting. I think your reactionsi are normal, to what you have experienced in your life. You don’t have to live up to the expectations of others. I do believe, when you find a safe space, you will emerge from your cocoon, but in your time.

Your honestly and clarity are admirable, it shows a degree of trust both in yourself and others. Though the word ‘ trust ‘ might be a wrong choice.

The kindest thing one person has done for me, is to accept me, as I am. Strangely, for me, slowly I am changing, but rarely can I see , or acknowledge it in myself.

Lots of these for you precious lady. 💕💕💕

Thanks to everyone for your comments and support @Maggie @Bunniekins @Owlunar @Ja3zee @jem80 @NatureLover

i have thought about this agsin last night.
@Maggie i think you're right. I am still a broken little girl. And I don't know where to go from here.
@Owlunar mmm yeah I'm not sure I'm happy in "my cocoon" either. Is it safer that I stay where I am instead of taking that "next step"???

i had a really good chat online here last night. I've been chatting with the same guy a few times this week. He is wonderful. He's making me understanding why I'm so scared. He said it's the abandonment and rejection that I'm really stuck with. And it's no wonder he said because if how I was treated as a child and his my mum reacted and treated me when I disclosed I was sexually abused as a child. He made a lot of sense.
I really appreciate Sanes online chat.
im going to bring this up eith my psychologist and if course my doctor is helping me too.

@jem80 fear is like being frozen and you can't move. It's like everything stopping. I'm scared of the future, of getting older, of dying. I sm do scared. But my rational mind says that I can't live my life in fear.
it's just I still have it though

hope I'm making sense.
I'm hoping to chat here a bit more. I'll think more.