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Something’s not right

Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Eve7

I think chai is a sweet, milky, spiced tea I have never tried it - at least I don't think I have - I am not a tea-drinker - but it could be okay - maybe one day.

I like coffee - at home I drink Moccona Classic - when I am out I enjoy a flat white and it seems to be a long time since I enjoyed a cup in a cafe

And hi @Emelia8

This podiatrist is a very chatty man - he has had to be pretty hands-on with my ingrowing toe-nail this year - I think I have run out of Medicare visits so this time I will have to pay but that's okay - this man does a really good job with toe-nails - I do have to say it would not be my favourite profession

The last place I went to wasn't friendly - all business - the premisses were very professional - a health place with a gym and they sold really good socks there but it was clinical - that was last year - and I am happy chatting with the guy I see now. I have something else to think about rather than toe-nail issues

It has been a tough year for everyone - so having a friendly visit has been a break every few weeks

I hope you are okay Em - I guess it's a case of one day at a time - you have a lot on your mind with it all as well - so again - I do wish you the best

Dec

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@Owlunar

Your description is how I drink chai but true chai is just the spicy tea with no milk.

I don’t drink coffee anymore and haven’t for several years. The last one I had was in Barcelona after suffering withdrawals for about 3 weeks while travelling. I realised I was hopelessly addicted to it so I had one last hit which has left me with a lovely memory of good coffee and I gave it up.

I do drink tea and am rather fussy about how that is brewed.

I’ve had a nice morning catching up with friends and the hairdresser. Just a little break before seeing the Psych and surgeon.

Hope your day is going well.

Hello @Emelia8 @WIP

💙💛💙

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Owlunar Thanks. Having a cuppa here.

I hope I haven't said anything wrong @WIP @Emelia8 💜

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hello @WIP

I hope you are ok?

I'm treading water at work so no time to visit here yesterday. Just popping in to send you and Levi some 💞❣️❤️🐕💞❣️❤️

and let you know that I am thinking of you xxx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Anastasia

Just working through some stuff from the last week or so, and the upcoming weeks too I guess.

Hope you're keeping your head about water still!

L and Levi ❤️❣️❤️

@Former-Member you haven't done anything wrong, just a quiet day for me y'day. Hope you are alright 💕💖

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Just jumping over here @Snowie I don't to clog up eve's thread.

Yep, today is one of those really hard days to keep going.

Last week I drank too much to cope with my Mum going away to visit my sister, neice and nephew. Many times I felt unsafe, so I'd have a few drinks to numb the Pain. Now I feel worse, as I have guilt and shame to deal with. And I know my anxiety peaks after I've been drinking, so I'm going to really unstable for the coming days.

On reflection, I should have gone into hospital for the week.

I have no life @Snowie ! I've spent this year mixing up and changing medications, and they still aren't right - just another year wasted away with nothing to show for it. 😢😭

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

My wish is that my Mum would say to me 'you can go L, I don't understand the full extent of the pain you are in, but I can see how it's destroying you - and it's ok to go'

All I have in my life is my Mum, nothing else. So if I got her blessing things would be ok.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP 💛💜

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Sorry that yesterday was super tough @WIP

I hope today is easier for you.
I hope you can see a light at the end of the tunnel and not just darkness.
I understand how hard it can be to fight.
💜🌸🌺🌷 ☕️

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