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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I'll try my best not to think about the appointment tonight @BPDSurvivor

I find it very difficult to be in the 'now' as my mind is so busy.

A series that I've been watching the past few weeks has its finale tonight, so that will keep

me focused for an hour.

I hope your appointment in the morning goes well.


Take care,

WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

That is really great news @WIP thank you for sharing xox

I am struggling with my emotions around my boy at the moment. He is such a long way away but still pushing many boundaries, something that he does here on a daily basis, it's just hard when hes away and still doing it. Oh well *sigh

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hey @WIP @Anastasia ,

How are you both? How was your appointment today @WIP ?

I had so many bubbling thoughts in my mind last night which meant I could not sleep until about 5am! I ended up missing my 9am psychologist appointment, but thank God I called her a little later and was able to have my session. It was an OKAY session. Nothing WOW. I guess it's because I know I will be discharged soon (by the end of the year?) so I'm naturally beginning to pull back. But it's okay, because I am so much better equipped in dealing with my MH.

Hope you feel a bit better today @Anastasia

Hugs to you both,

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Just popping in to spread some love

Hello @WIP @BPDSurvivor @Appleblossom @Emelia8 @Eve7

Hope that you all have a good Friday xxx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Anastasia

Hope you have a good one!

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

That's so lovely of you @Anastasia , thank you!

How are you travelling? Have been thinking of you.

Sorry, I haven't really been commenting on the forums the past few days, just supporting posts.

It's been a okish week for me. I tried a new GP on Monday, who has a strong interest in Mental Health and then had a new psychologist appt on Wed morning, and both went well. And then a Telehealth call with my psychiatrist Wed night, so telling 'my story' to 2 new ppl was a bit emotional and stirred a few things up. What's good though, is I liked them both and will see them again. I have some 'hope' that they will be able to help me.

Still not impressed with my psychiatrist, but the increase in med dose is starting to make a moderate noticeable difference, so hopefully won't need to see him so frequently.
I've been in lots of pysical pain with my back/ribs/neck problems, so much so I was in tears y'day from it before seeing my chiropractor. I've woken in less pain this morning, which is a good sign.

It feels as though the only thing I do is attend medical appointments these days. Can't wait for these restrictions to be lifted in Victoria, so we can get out & about a bit more.

I hope you all have a Happy Friday & the day is kind to you! ❣️❣️

@BPDSurvivor @Appleblossom @Emelia8 @Eve7 @Zoe7

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

That all sounds pretty positive @WIP ... I'm really happy for you.

Sadly I know that feeling where our life seems to revolve around medical apts. For me that looks like stepping up 10-fold in the near future.

Yes I too hope VIC soon comes out of its extended lockdown. So many people will benefit from that, in so many ways.

Hope your day ahead is a good one.

Hi also to @Anastasia @Eve7 @Appleblossom @BPDSurvivor

Emelia 🌸

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@Emelia8

@Anastasia

@Eve7

@WIP

@BPDSurvivor

and that is enough Eve

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hello @WIP

thank you for your lovely message, I think of you always too, I feel so blessed to call you my friend xoxo

It's all good, some days all I can manage is to hit the support button too.

I am so happy to hear that It's been a okish week for you!!!

"I tried a new GP on Monday, who has a strong interest in Mental Health and then had a new psychologist appt on Wed morning, and both went well. And then a Telehealth call with my psychiatrist Wed night, so telling 'my story' to 2 new ppl was a bit emotional and stirred a few things up. What's good though, is I liked them both and will see them again. I have some 'hope' that they will be able to help me."

This is the best news!!

"Still not impressed with my psychiatrist, but the increase in med dose is starting to make a moderate noticeable difference, so hopefully won't need to see him so frequently."

It's funny I do think it is important to have that connection with the psychiatrist but I have encountered many and they are certainly a colourful bunch so not always easy. The one I saw, whilst I thought he was knowledgeable he never made eye contact with me during the entire session!! I wouldn't go back.

This is not great but the fact that the meds are starting to make a difference is soooooooooo good!

I am sorry about the pain, I am glad the chiro helped and today is better. Hopefully you will continue to get relief from the visit yesterday.

I cannot wait for the restrictions to be lifted for you, I thought they were, I am a bit behind obviously.

I look forward to a time when this craziness is behind us!

My boy will be coming home next week so will try to make sure all of my chores are up to date and my mind is "strong" ready for what awaits.

I hope that the way you are feeling today continues. Sending you ots of love always dear L ❣️❣️

@BPDSurvivor @Appleblossom @Emelia8 @Eve7 @Zoe7 and everyone ❣️❣️❣️❣️

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi my friends!

@Anastasia @WIP @Appleblossom @Emelia8

Missing you all. I've been caught in in work meetings, but all is well. It's Friday! Yay!

It's my nephew's birthday tomorrow. I'm totally looking forward to it. Although I can't smother him with kisses, at least I get to see him via Zoom. Better than nothing!

@WIP Be patient. Dealing with MH takes time. I hope you feel physically better today and not so sore.

Hugs to all!

BPDSurvivor

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