Changing meds

Morning @Appleblossom

Since my previous psychiatrist retired last year, I've struggled all round to find a good medical team. He used to be a GP early in his career, so he'd help me out whenever I needed that type of stuff, and I saw him fairly regularly after my bullying/harassment debacle at work, so he provided psychotherapy as well as monitoring my medications. I saw him for over 15 years, so knows all my history n

I realise only now, how damn lucky I was to have him. Even though he's retired, he's been kind enough to answer an email or two when I touch base with him about my new psychiatrists suggestion, and it just doesn't sit well with me.

I have gotten worse being under his care and desperately want to get off this anti psychotic that he prescribed, but it's a tough one to stop. He put me on a high dose of it last year when I was severely depressed and in hospital. I don't need it for psychotic reasons, I'm down to a very low dose just for sleep, but my body is used to it, so I'm having trouble stopping.

This psychiatrist is really into TMS & ECT. That's his suggestion almost all the time. But I refuse to do it again. Hmm, maybe TMS, but I can't say it was all that effective when I tried it. I was going through a lot when I had that.

Like you. I need to find a GP with an interest in Mental Health. I'll keep researching.

How is your son going? You mentioned he's having a really tough time atm. And of course, how are you going?

WIP xx

Im not sure where to tag you @Anastasia So, I'm just tagging you in my thread for the moment.

How are you going? I read that you kept yourself busy yesterday - Well Done!

Were you able to get much sleep?

Hope you are alright, and know that I'm thinking of you.

WIP xx

@WIP

You were lucky to find a good one. His input might have to see you through managing mediocre ones. Good Luck looking tho.

I took prn yesterday of an anti psychotic I am trying to lower. I am still anxious, mild agitation is probably best descriptor. Edited as I dont want to breach confidentiality.

I have a funny feeling some pdocs just push their wares without fully putting themselves into their client's shoes. My pdoc likes to talk about people's shoes and the 7 billion on the planet. I get his point. Did a bit of stats once. It pays to be MINDFUL of what is going on around us.

cheers Apple

Hi beautiful L,

Thank you for your message it means a lot. I'm much better today, acceptance has set in as I can't control or change the situation so to let it absorb me is not healthy for me. I'm back at work today so crazy busy having had yesterday off.

Hope you are ok? I'm sorry I have been out of the loop. Did you end up investigating the diamond paintings? @WIP 💙

Hello also to everyone

@Eve7 @Appleblossom @Emelia8 @BPDSurvivor ❤️

My headspace is ok now so just checking in with you @WIP , are you ok sweetie?

Hi @Anastasia

I've had a nice afternoon with Mum thank you. It was nice to be in a better headspace and enjoy the visit. I've been pushing her away lately, which is what I usually do when I'm not too good, I shut down - the opposite to what I should do.

I hope you are ok? x

That is so lovely @WIP

It makes me happy to hear. I'm sure you made your Mum's day too. I'm glad you let her in hunny, please keep doing so. I am sure she needs you as much as you need her.

I am ok. It takes me a little longer to shift my headspace when it comes to my boy. My therapist said it is something that I need to work on so I don't end up in a black place again myself. It's difficult but I have to do it so mostly I have. Working and keeping busy is how I move forward. Did lots of gardening yesterday now my green bin is full. Still very sad he's not here but if it helps him then that is a good thing and that's what matters. My concern is that it has never helped in the past. But again my therapist said I need to live in the now not the past or future so trying to keep focusing on that. *Sigh*

Thank you for your messages they really helped. You are a god friend x

I'm not sure what the weekend will bring, hopefully a drive with my parents somewhere and lunch, other than just just resting I think.

Are you able to leave the house now, have the restrictions been lifted?

How is little Levi after his op? Brave Little guy x

I'm glad to hear you are doing as best as you can at the moment, but can imagine how very difficult it must be not to have your boy home.

Your therapist is right, we need to live in the 'now' - however, I find it very difficult to do so. You seem to be doing a better job at it.

There's a saying that goes something like Living in the past brings depression, Living in the future brings anxiety, so live in the NOW.
I do find it very difficult to do though. I think and dream about the past ALL the time..

Yes, Mum enjoyed the visit with me as we chatted and I didn't cry or get upset. I'm trying really hard not to get like that in front of her, even though I was crying on the phone to her on Monday night.

I've put her through soooo much worry. I feel so guilty. But she knows, that I can be ok one day and really not ok the next. She just wants me to get better.

Mum has to have an endoscopy next Thursday, so I want to make sure I'm there for her to pick her up after the procedure. I've let her down so many, many times this year. We make plans & I wake up feeling crappy, so cancel on her. I'm determined, no matter how I wake up Thursday morning. I will be there for her. My Mum is the definition of resilience with everything she's been through in her life. She's spent her life looking after everyone else.

Your weekend plans sound lovely. I don't have much on, other than the Chiro, which I really need. I have very bad back, ribs & neck issues. So some short term relief after an adjustment will be welcomed. I need a remedial massage, but they aren't allowed to operate under Stage 4 restrictions. Other than that, nothing planned for me. I don't really have any friends irl, & even if I did, we aren't allowed to travel further than 5kms of where we live.

Levi is doing very well thanks. Snoozing a bit more than usual, but desperate to get out for a walk. I'll check his stitches in the morning and decide whether to take him or not...think I will.

Enjoy your evening @Anastasia

I'll be watching the AFL - even though I don't follow either team playing.

Love L xx

@WIP My Lions play tonight but I won't see much of it - Cat comes first

I think you are doing really well @WIP

You are a warrior. It's not easy so don't be too hard on yourself. I do hope you get to take little Levi out tomorrow. Will keep you in my thoughts x