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Something’s not right

Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds


@WIP wrote:

Im just hoping the increase in AD med, along with psychology sessions, better weather coming along soon and lockdown restrictions eased - everything combined might have some Positive impact.


I really hope so, @WIP ...


@WIP wrote:

Mum Did say she'd help me out financially for the new augmentation antipsychotic he suggested, but it depends on how long I'd need to be in it & that's even if it works.


So if the increase in the AD doesn't help enough, you could possibly go onto the augmentation antipsychotic still?


@WIP wrote:

How are you going today? I'm in survival mode again. Didn't sleep well & woke up feeling crappy.


I was like that yesterday, as well. Today am slightly better, but it's icy here, isn't it! Going to be a cold weekend, not much walking for either of us I suspect. How are you feeling today?

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @NatureLover

Im not much better today, even though I slept better. Glad to hear you are slightly better today.

I'm not really sure what the psychiatrist will advise to do if the increase in AD doesn't help. I've just gotta hope that it does. I should be able to tell in a week or two.

The weather is miserable isn't it?!? Not very motivating at all. No walk for Levi or I today.

I hope you have a calm day. It's always nice to hear from you @NatureLover

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I'm sorry to hear things are still pretty bad today. I hope you can have a calm day too, if possible...

I really hope that the increased ADs help, @WIP ... Sending hugs

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@Anastasia

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you @WIP

I like you very much and I genuinely care. I've saved your thread and will read from the beginning later today. I'm sorry things aren't good still, I'll comment more later after reading but I'm sending you love in the meantime xxx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@Anastasia ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi lovely @WIP

Finally a chance to see your opening post plus a few after. Boy you have been through a lot and I am sorry that it's still a struggle. Meds and getting them right is difficult and can drain the life out if someone just trying. My boy has had a very tough path for a long time trying to get his right, one which has had him in hospital I think it's 7 times now. So I'm telling you that in the hope it gives you hope because now he is as good as he's ever been. But boy was it a black bleak path to get to where we are now. Please hold on to hope that things will improve. I hope soon. If you are unhappy with your supports change them. It can feel daunting but it is necessary. We are in to hospital two and pdoc 4.

I believe that the restrictions were lifted from midnight tonight. Still not great but a start to better times. I feel for Victoria's, it has effected people more than it's evident, it's tragic and I truly hope that the worst Is behind us. I'm backing you @WIP and here if you need to vent/chat x You've got this, I promise x

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Anastasia

Yes, it's been a really tough few months. Not sure how far I to the thread you read, but I was doing ok on the same SSRI until many significant life events in the past 4 years, & it's been a slippery slope since then. A new pdoc I don't really trust is part of the equation.

Anyway, I'm trying to keep my head above water and hold onto some hope, but it's really difficult when I cry most of the day, can't sleep well and have little support system.

Im so sorry to hear you're son has had such a rough trot. How old is he? I'm glad he's good now though - that's just fabulous to hear. I'm sure you've been through the wringer with all his admissions etc though. How are you doing now?

I have private insurance, so thinking of changing pdocs & hospitals. I am lucky atm though, as my pdoc bulk bills me, & I see him every 2 to 3 weeks. That saves me a lot of money.

Ive finally scheduled with a new recommended psychologist next month, so I hope she will help a lot.

Thanks very much for your care & support - means a lot!!

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh @WIP

I read all of your posts and I really feel for you. I am holding hope that the new pdoc next month might be "the one" 🤞

I love Levi the slipper thief, what a cutie 🐾🐾

Work in progress, I also love that ❤️

Pretty woman is also one of my favourites, I especially love her walking past the expensive boutique saying "big mistake" and the bath scene singing.

On a more serious note, I'm sorry for all of your loss, sending you the biggest hug.

You have found some beautiful friendships in @NatureLover and @Eve7 @Zoe7 @ @BPDSurvivor among many others, that makes me happy. ❤️

As for your mum being better off without you, I promise she's not. I won't tell my story but please TRUST me I know I'm a mumma. She loves you and I'm certain you are her reason for living. ♥️♥️♥️

So dear @WIP please hold hope, we are all here for you, me included ❤️❤️❤️

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Morning @Anastasia

Thank you for taking the time and interest to read all of my thread - that's so very kind of you.


I hope you've had a good start to the week.
Is your boy back home or still with his Dad?

Where did you buy the Owl diamond painting - was it online?

Me, I haven't had a good start to the day really. Woke countless times and have been bawling, not just crying, for the past hour. My body has gotten used to my anti-anxiety Meds, so they don't calm me anymore.

I don't think I can keep living like this. My unit is a mess, I haven't been able to clean for a couple

of weeks. It's disgusting....Having a shower this morning feels an impossible task. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. This is so painful.

Its been 5 days of the increased dose of AD medication, I would have hoped for an improvement by now. This medication is our last resort, I don't know what will happen next. This is living, it's a painful existence.

WIP ❤️

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