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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

It’s only day 3 of employment @tyme & they have been overwhelming to say the least. In the long run, I’m sure working is going to be good for my mental health.

I just have to be patient and not expect myself to know everything about work straight away. Be patient & BREATHE

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

So nice to hear back from you @Eve7

💕💕

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Big hugs back to you @Shaz51 🤗🤗

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Omg!!! I had a smile from ear to ear when I read your message! Thank you for remembering us. @WIP .

I am so happy to hear from you and to know that you’ve started work. I know working keeps me going. It’s something I have to be accountable for. Something I have to wake up to. Something that will put food in the table and give me some of those luxuries like dining out.

I’m also happy to hear Levi is well.

Hugs hugs hugs!!!!!

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Of course I remember you all @BPDSurvivor - you’re all very special to me & been in my thoughts often.

Ive been caring for my Mum for most of this year. She had a fall & was in hospital for a month at the beginning of the year. She suffered some bad back injuries & needs a walker & has been slowly improving over the months.

I applied for this job on a whim & before I knew it I was hired for the contract role. I agree with all that you say about being employed & working. Only downside is it’s 100% WFH. I really need to engage with ppl & not be on my own so much. Over time, I hope I gain the confidence to socialise, make some friends IRL.

How have you been?

Big hugs back to you lovely. 🤗🤗

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Great to see you @WIP ! And congratulations on the job! 🙂 Hope it becomes easier soon 🙂

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hugs @WIP !

You have come such a long way. I couldn’t be prouder!

Caring for a loved one can become draining. I hope you were able to look after yourself while caring for your mum. I know she has been a great support to you in the past.

Im glad you hear Levi is well. Please give him cuddles from me!

As with your job, well done to you! It’s okay it’s 100% WFH. Once you build up your confidence you can start to look out and begin taking some uncomfortable steps out of your comfort zone.

You don’t realise how happy I am to see you thriving. I wish for many people follow your journey as proof that recovery IS possible.

Hugs xxxooo

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Which days do you work @WIP ?

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

It’s full time @BPDSurvivor - Mon to Fri.

My first week was so overwhelming as I haven’t worked for 3 years. Last night I had a terrible sleep - dreams about work & how much I have to learn in a quick time frame. Anxiety levels very high this morning.

I wish I could switch my mind off worrying about work, and enjoy the sunshine today, but am finding it difficult.

How has your week been?

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Be gentle with yourself @WIP . Starting any job is hard at first. Give yourself the time you deserve. I think you are so brave in being able to take up full time after not working for three years! It’s a great achievement.

And if there are things you are not sure of, reach out and ask.

I find starting out on new job difficult too. I have a build up of anxiety but find that it tends to get easier after about 3 weeks. And as a new person, be prepared to make mistakes. I know I have - and I’ve made sure I don’t repeat those mistakes!

Maybe you can take Levi for a quick walk in the sunshine! It’ll help your body produce some endorphins so you feel better.

Ive had a busy but great week. I’ve got so many big projects up my sleeve. It’s so exciting.

What are some things you like to do as part of relaxing of self care?

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