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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you dear @Eve7

I love orchids. My mum had many orchid plants when we were growing up and she'd always get so excited when a new spike appeared in the pot. At the time, I never really appreciated what growing orchids was all about, but know that I do, i have a real admiration for them.

And of course,'roses are beautiful!

How are you going? Are you back home? What's the plan for next week?

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi lovely @BPDSurvivor

I'm not having that good a day today. My sleep is disrupted & having dreams of past trauma. It wipes me pit for the following day.

How are you going gorgeous girl?

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I love orchids too @WIP

Yes, I came home yesterday and need to go in for ect 3 times next week then weekly. I’m a bit so, so today but happy to be home in my own surroundings. I also have some work I can do from home so we’ll see how that goes.

Do you have anything coming up?

💜

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh dear @WIP , that doesn't sound too good! Have you been able to find any ways to self-soothe with some form of self-care?

I often have thoughts of past trauma. However, I've realised I can't actually change anything that has happened. I am now working on how to manage re-living images of my past. It is painful, but it is something I need to tackle head on. Otherwise, the pain will always be there. I'm trying to train my brain to reconceptualise the past so that it hopefully becomes less painful. It is hard work, and painful, but I know I have to do it so that I can move on.

Other than that, I'm really needing to work on my physical health. With such intense work committments and the medication I'm currently taking, I am incredibly overweight. I saw my GP yesterday, and she is monitoring my weight, espeically because I am also having pains in my feet (arthritis) and back pain. Considering I'm in my 30s, this is NOT normal.... I also have orthodics specially made to help with the arthritis in my feet (minimising movement in joints). Unfortunately, when working, I can't wear runners. So now, i'm just doing what I can.

Anyway, hope you get some rest and feel a little better soon! I'll check-in with you again later.

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

It makes such a difference being in your own surroundings @Eve7 . I'm glad you got to come home & Hope ect sessions next week go well.

I'm feeling so so again today. Didn't sleep well & I'm never motivated in the really cold weather.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @BPDSurvivor

I'm trying some self care tactics, but I'm just really down at the moment, finding it very difficult to get motivated.

Unfortunately, I often have dreams of the past and think about it a lot. The 'what if question' comes up a lot. I know how unhealthy it is, and I need to look forward, but when the past has been so bad, I find it difficult to be optimistic about the future - but I'm working on it.

Sorry to hear about your back and feet pain. Being in your 30s is early to have the need for specially made orthotics. My mum has bad feet too, so to see first hand how constricting it can be at times. I'm sorry to hear about these issues you have.

Enjoy your Sunday/rest day, as it sounds very busy at work for you.

Always good to hear from you. xx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I’m sorry you didn’t sleep well @WIP and I don’t think the notifications are working so I’m just catching up now.

Take care, I don’t like being cold either.

💜🤗💜

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds@@

Does anyone know/have experience with discounted car registration (& car insurance while I think of it). Since I was 18 I always paid fully comprehensive insurance ((a trait inherited from my Dad). But I'm not working atm, the car sits in the driveway 5 days out of 7, yet it's a nice euro car.

Just wondering if ppl Have been successful with conssion discount. I already have the under 5000km per year.
@BPDSurvivor @Eve7 @outlander @Anastasia @Emelia8 @Zoe7

In response to: Re: Changing meds@@

Re: Changing meds@@

I don’t know about a discount for non usr @WIP but good luck as it may be possible if you’re on DSP

In response to: Re: Changing meds@@

Re: Changing meds@@

@WIP in NSW car registration is free if your on a pension. no discounts on car insurance that i am aware of though.

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