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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP sending you a big hug after your Worry Room post 💚

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks everyone for your kind words.

Another challenging day - DBT class & 1st pdoc appt since being out of hospital. I was going ok while in there, but being back home by myself - loneliness & hopelessness has set back in big time.

Pdoc mentioned NDIS to help with my loneliness & re-entering community/ workforce. As I was in a state of tears, my response was "what? Pay for people to care & be my friend?" Anyway, I said I'd research it - was just wondering f if anyone has experience or advice please.

@eve7 @Anastasia @NatureLover @outlander @Emelia

@Clawde @BPDSurvivor @Bunniekins

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP Oh sweetheart I use ndis and I call them my professional friends. I talk to them about this and that my problems and stuff and it works well for me. As long as you do not get attached to any of them then it works well. I am going to add a couple of other formites who have had success with ndis @eth and @Mazarita . Happy to talk with you any time. Oh also my son2 and daughter both have ndis workers and both have found the interactions etc helpful. peaxxx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks very much @Bunniekins xx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I hear you @WIP and I understand.

My boy has NDIS and no friends.

It helps... A LOT

Happy to assist with anything. I pretty much manage everything NDIS wise. That is also A LOT, but worth it x

You have got this, more than you know x

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you @Anastasia !!!

My psychologist referred me to an organisation called WellWays & I had the first visit with my 'peer worker' this morning. She was so nice. I think it's a bit like NDIS.....I need to go through the paperwork she left for me. Basically, we'll catch up F2F fortnightly and she'll help assist me with goals and 'getting back out there'.

I hardly slept last night, but feel better after her visit. A sprinkle of hope has reappeared. 🤞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thats really positive news @WIP . Happy for you. 😄🌷

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

That is such good news @WIP hugs and love xox

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks ladies @Emelia8 @Anastasia

I just need that nudge to get going, and then I'm fine (more often than not).

This peer worker picked up on my intelligence, experience, warm personality (complimented me on all) and understood that the negative/emotional mind I have, puts the brakes on me moving forward. I'm stuck and just over being so unwell for so long. I want things fixed now (my all or nothing personality trait), but must be more self compassionate on how well I actually am doing and what I have achieved in the past.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP I'm responding to @Bunniekins 's tag. I am soon going into my 4th year with NDIS and happy to chat or answer questions you may have about it. It's true that at first it can feel like paying someone for friendship, but as you get used to working with a support worker you will develop boundaries in the relationship that are quite different to 'freely given friendship' (I love that expression). Ultimately the support worker is there to help you progress with goals and independence, and is actually your employee essentially (tho' NDIS pays for them). But it's also great when we find one who we can have a really friendly connection and rapport with. Tag me if you want to talk more.

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