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Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor15 July 2020, 11:14 am AEST

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

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In response to: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor07 Apr 2021, 8:08 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

I'm scared @Anastasia

I've been in uncontrollable tears all afternoon.

I don't know if I can do this all on my own. What's the point?

I don't have a loving family like you do. My sister coming down this weekend is causing extra stress.

Im sorry you boy has gone backwards today ☹️ That's one of the problems with this illness - its

unpredictability.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor07 Apr 2021, 8:12 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Clawde

In response to: Re: Changing meds

DaisydreamerSenior Contributor07 Apr 2021, 8:52 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP,

I am so sorry to hear how difficult tonight has been 💙 That feeling of loneliness sounds like it is really sitting heavy right now, and that you are working through a lot of big feelings. That feeling of carrying this all on your own is really hard, and I am so sorry to hear that family has added to your stress this week.

You have a community of friends here sitting with you and sending thoughts your way tonight.

The SANE Helpcentre is also around to be a listening ear if you want someone to talk to tonight

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Shaz51Senior Contributor07 Apr 2021, 8:57 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

Sitting with you my friend xxx @WIP ❤❤

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor07 Apr 2021, 9:06 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

I'm sorry @WIP 😭

Short on words but yes it is unpredictable and not fair. Sitting with you and crying together my dear friend 😔

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor07 Apr 2021, 9:48 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

Thank you dear @Shaz51 That's so kind of you. I just want to sleep, but I don't think it'll be possible

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor07 Apr 2021, 9:52 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

It's very unfair @Anastasia

Somerimes I feel the reason I have a mental illness is that I'm being punished for something. I just don't understand why I was so unlikely in the draw. I imagine you feel the same way sometimes.

Hoping you get some restful sleep tonight.

don't think I will

love you xx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor07 Apr 2021, 10:03 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

I hope you can sleep @WIP

Try the music I sent perhaps. Love you too. Goodnight x

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor08 Apr 2021, 6:59 am AEST

Re: Changing meds

I hope you slept @WIP, I did eventually xox

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor08 Apr 2021, 8:06 am AEST

Re: Changing meds

Morning @Anastasia

I'm so glad you eventually slept welll,

I had a very disrupted night again.

I hope your day is a bit brighter than yesterday.

Thinking of you and your boy. xx

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