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Something’s not right

Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you for sitting with me @Bow

I don't know that this ache is ever going to leave me. I've been so unwell for so long & had 3 psychiatrists in the past 2 weeks tell me they can't help, I have no hope yet and are totally alone. I don't have much on my list to keep living for.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I'm here for you too @WIP

Movie night sounds fun @Bow

What will we watch?

Hugs and hugs and more hugs L, I'm so sorry for what you are enduring 😔🤗❣️

Perhaps @Former-Member @Emelia8 @Eve7 are around too?

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you @Anastasia

I'm sorry, I don't have the concentration for a movie. I can't stop crying, but just desperately want to sleep & never wake up.

I think I've done my fair share of trying, I can't take any more hits & Im just so hopeless and have a strong ingrained belief I'll be one of those statistics who never get better. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I have every faith that you will get through this @WIP you have got through 100% of your previous bad day, this will be another one to add to it. And I absolutely know that this means nothing at the moment. Still here

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I can totally understand why you would have that belief @WIP. I'd be the same. Thing is, I do think that the road you have travelled is nearing a fork for you. It wouldn't feel that way because you are exhausted and rightly so. You've had to forge forward with a very unhelpful pdoc to date :pile_of_poo: not to mention your recent injury.

Now though you have a fabulous, invested pycologist backing you big time... the light is just around the corner. Please keep to the path L. Know that I and others here are holding your hand and cheering you on.

My house is in chaos tonight, I don't want to be here right now but can't see at night to safely drive so I'm stuck here. Here's an idea...let's don our wings and flutter around , see what there is to explore. Lockdown can't stop us from being fairies 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♂️

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Movie is over now @Anastasia and my daughter has had her 'night time vitamin' as I call it and she will be asleep soon! Insisting on having a sleep over in my room. I'm catching up on some soaps I missed last night with a chai latte:)

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Bow @Anastasia

Im sorry to bring everybody down, I think I had better go and log back in when/if I feel a bit better

Im sorry

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

That's a lot cute @Bow 🙏🤗🧚‍♀️

Come join us for a fly?

@Emelia8 and @Eve7 too?

Anyone else here?

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

You can stay @WIP happy to be here with you as others are too.

but if you feel you need to go, please stay safe. 🤗🤗

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Don't be sorry @WIP

You aren't bringing me down. You don't have to put your mask on here. We are here for you sweetheart

L and Levi ❣️🐾🐕💔

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