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Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor15 July 2020, 11:14 am AEST

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor17 Jan 2021, 11:43 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Will you be ok if I head to bed @WIP ?

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor18 Jan 2021, 12:05 am AEDT

Re: Changing meds

@Anastasia wrote:
Will you be ok if I head to bed @WIP ?

Night @WIP @outlander @Eve7 @Emelia8 💙💖❣️❤️💙

In response to: Re: Changing meds

outlanderSenior Contributor18 Jan 2021, 12:06 am AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Goodnight @Anastasia 💕

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor18 Jan 2021, 12:14 am AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Sorry, I did reply, but it didn't post and then I went googling something else.

So sore you you've been waiting for me.

Ill be alright, probably no sleep, the side of my head/forehead really hurts and I'm highly anxious.

Ive made a GP Appt for early in the morning.

Thank you for being so kind with your words and time.

Night @Anastasia

Good night @outlander thanks for your help too, sleep well

In response to: Re: Changing meds

outlanderSenior Contributor18 Jan 2021, 12:21 am AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Ill be up for a while yet if you need some company @WIP
Im glad you made gp appt for the morning

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor18 Jan 2021, 12:37 am AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @outlander

Im stressed out about how much the side of my head hurts. I was very wobbly when I got up the past two mornings & just put it down to the sleeping med. Now my mind is racing that this bump on my head should have been looked at earlier, particularly considering how much bruising has appeared overnight - I can't believe it. Both eyes are deep purple and there's a strip of purple down each side of my nose coming from the corner of my eye. Not to mention the yellow bruise on top of the bump on my forehead - I look bloody scary.

i can't stop crying & are so upset at myself.

Life just keeps dishing me out blows that I'm not strong enough to handle - I keep getting knocked down. It's exhausting & not a very pleasant way to live 😢😢

In response to: Re: Changing meds

outlanderSenior Contributor18 Jan 2021, 12:42 am AEDT

Re: Changing meds

@WIP if it gets worse overnight please go to ed. You may have even given yourself a mild concussion.
You dont need to be upset with yourself, it was an accident and like most of us unless we can see the damage ie bruising bumps etc we tend to pass it off. Youve got the drs in the morning and im sure theyll help you 💛

I understand the blows life hands out, it doesnt seem very fair and yes its definently exhausting too.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor18 Jan 2021, 12:52 am AEDT

Re: Changing meds

It's possible it's a mild concussion @outlander But no blurred vision or feeling sick or light headed.

i can only lay on one side of my head on the pillow, it hurts to much on the usual side.

See what the GP says in the morning.

Yes life doesn't seem fair & it hasn't been for quite

sometime now. Even the littlest of things get me down. I'm a shadow of who I used to be. So sad.

Night @outlander I hope you sleep alright. x

In response to: Re: Changing meds

outlanderSenior Contributor18 Jan 2021, 12:55 am AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Good luck at the gp @WIP let us know how you go..

Yes, i understand. Im much the same, im not much of the same person as i was before. Not an improved version thats for sure

I hope you can get some sleep tonight. Ill still be up for a while yet though.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor18 Jan 2021, 9:52 am AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Well I've woken up overnight worse - only 5 hours sleep and my eyes are darker and puffier than they were y'day @outlander @Anastasia @Eve7 @outlander Its affecting my vision in one eye.

Ive got my GP appt a bit later, but I don't think there's much he can do except confirm the diagnosis.

ive ring and left a message with the DBT course instructor.

My anxiety is through the roof. I'm worried I'll need to move the doctor appt back.

I feel sick!

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