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Something’s not right

Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hello beautiful L,

I feel I've neglected you, I'm sorry.

How are you?

@WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Don't be silly, you haven't neglected me at all.

youve got a lot on your plate.

i hope your blood work comes back with some answers @Anastasia

I'm alright thanks, although I fell out of bed on Thursday night. I was half asleep and moved Levi. Not realising how close to the edge he was, and over I went. I didn't think I hurt myself, but discovered a graze on my arm y'day, but this morning have woken with a massive bruise & bump on my head. I had a bad headache y'day and just put it down to having my period.
So I'm feeling a bit sore, sorry for myself & embarrassed. I guess with the amount of meds in me,'I didn't really notice anything at the time. It'll be a couch day for me applying my bruise cream as often as I can.

How are you going lovely.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh L, I'm glad you are as ok as you are !!!

You poor thing, a couch day sounds necessary, please take care 🤗

I'm sorry it happened just glad you are ok (ish) but will come good.

Have you been watching I'm a Celebrity? I have, I've actually really been enjoying it. Do you have any thoughts around who will win? There's a few I feel worthy.

Last night we started to watch Zoey's extraordinary playlist. I actually love it. It's clean, fun, and the music is lovely. Highly recommend it. We just finished The Queen's Gambit, which I also enjoyed.

Are your DBT sessions weekly? I know they made a huge difference for my boy so I am super excited to hear about your sessions.

Not sure what is on the agenda today. Woke up headachey so just having a coffee to see if that helps.

I hope you can make the most of your couch day, I am certain little Levi will love your company @WIP

Love and hugs to you both ❤️🤗🐕🥓🌷

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Anastasia a big fat bruise and bump on my hair line is all I need!!

Ive been watching a bit of I'm a celebrity & actually enjoying it. Grant Denyer is a possibility to win, Toni Peron has shown her strength & courage in the challenges. Who knows? As you said there's a few worthy of taking out the prize. The chef is pretty funny & is it Will who has all sorts of stories?

Yes DBT classes are weekly & I see the psychologist weekly too, both give me

homework, so I'm going to be busy - which is a good thing.

I hope your headache subsides - one too actually. Levi is behaving himself and asleep on the pillow next to me. I haven't made it out of bed yet, even though I was awake at 7am

Enjoy your day sweet lady

❣️❤️🌹❤️❣️

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hey @WIP !

Im so happy to hear you got into a DBT program! I've been busy so I didn't have a chance to reply, but it sounds great!

Feel free to share any parts you find helpful because I'd love to hear it. I've only done elements of it. I'd love to get into a DBT program. I've been looking, but the group programs simply don't fit into my schedule, so I've placed it on the back burner for now.

Im looking to hear more about it.

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Love you @WIP 💜

I think this is perfect for you...

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks for the image @Anastasia That's very sweet and kind of you.

I think I asked you once before how to find and attach images to posts, like a few of you do. I think they are great.

I look like I've gone a couple of rounds with Rocky, the way my face has bruised up. I must have knocked the bridge of my nose also, so now each eye is dark purple in the corner next to my nose. The bump on the side of my head is still sore to touch and is a lovey shade of yellow and black.

I'm so embarressed about it - I can't help but worry about my last session with the current psychiatrist, cause he'll ask straight away what happened, and then I attend 3 hours of DBT class with people I don't know. They might think I'm in an abusive relationship. I'm rubbing this bruise cream in every couple of hours, but my tears wash it away. I'm not very good today.

How are you going my friend? All ok after last night? I was worried about you, but you seem to have your wonderful spark back today.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh sweetheart you really did go to town with yourself!!!!

I'm so sorry. How about I hang out with you today? I've been spending time in Ems pocket and we have so many laughs. Can I do that for you today? Put the cream on and then rather than tears we can share feel good stories about good times we've had over the years? I'd like that. @WIP

Let the cream do it's healing for you.

I think we put a lot of weight on what others will think when in truth they are too busy thinking of that themselves that they don't think about us.

I'm ok hun. I just have to move on, try to put yesterday behind me otherwise it will consume me and I can't let it. I updated my thread a little although it can't be specific as I am not sure what will come of yesterday. Sorry it's cryptic. Maybe I can whisper to you whilst in your pocket 😁

I love you L.

💞🤗🌷

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh, that would be lovely @Anastasia

I'll be on and off the forum today, as Mum is coming to visit. I've been on my own since Wednesday and I tend to dip when I've been on my own too long. I'm so very lonely, and can't wait to start getting better or a bit more well, so I can do some volunteering and engage with people. At my age, I don't know how I'm going to go about making new friends, I usually make friends through work. But, I've shyed away from those that I worked with when I left the workplace under Mental Illness reasons.

The Stage 4 lockdown really put my mental health backwards.

Oh well, I've got this course to hopefully help me and my new psychologist (but she's on leave for 2 weeks).

There just always seems to be something MyBoy - you know what I mean. Something always pops up to challenge me and usually knocks me over.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I hope you bf is ok

And of course you and your boy @Anastasia

Sounds like a very challenging evening, so glad to hear you are all safe.
🤗❣️

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