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Something’s not right

Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor15 July 2020, 11:14 am AEST

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

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In response to: Changing meds

Unknown userMember08 Jan 2021, 11:12 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Yes, I did. I try to be strong @WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Unknown userMember08 Jan 2021, 11:14 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

He's in jail for a very long time, so that's good @WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor08 Jan 2021, 11:19 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

You are strong @Former-Member !! You're a survivor of a terrible trauma. You have the strength to keep going each day and trying to better yourself with self education on how to improve yourself & your health - you told me so!!

Im very glad to hear he's in jail for a very long time. That must give you some form of relief & power.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Unknown userMember08 Jan 2021, 11:24 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Thanks for being there. Yes, some relief. I was sa many times. Sounds morbid. Sorry Not sure who to talk to. I don't want to bring anyone down. @WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Unknown userMember08 Jan 2021, 11:25 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

I don't know why I'm struggling with it all tonight

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Unknown userMember08 Jan 2021, 11:26 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

It doesn't matter how much I try to ignore everything. It doesn't work

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor08 Jan 2021, 11:31 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Don't be sorry, you're not bringing anyone down.

You're most likely struggling tonight, because you had a challenging long drive with d's father & I'm sure that would have been very tense and stressful. Plus, you were naturally triggered by driving past a place that is very, very uncomfortable for you @Former-Member

That's a really long, difficult day and it's just stirred up some really powerful emotions for you.
Don't beat yourself up for struggling a little bit tonight, try to be gentle on yourself that you can acknowledge the reasons why you feel like this tonight. 💖

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Unknown userMember08 Jan 2021, 11:37 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Thanks for understanding @WIP I am continually scared of men.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor08 Jan 2021, 11:41 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

I bet you are - I would be too if I'd survived something like what you've been through @Former-Member

It'll take time for you to build up being able to trust men again

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Unknown userMember08 Jan 2021, 11:42 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Scared of sleeping, to be honest @WIP

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.