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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hugs @Former-Member

🤗🤗🤗

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP 👋💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you lovely @Former-Member

Merry Christmas! 🎄❣️

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Are you with your mum today? @WIP 🌺🌷

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Former-Member

Yes, I was with Mum y'day and it was a nice relaxing afternoon.

How'd your day go? 🦋🌸

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thinking of you @WIP

I'm glad you got to spend the day yesterday with your Mum xxx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Anastasia

Thinking of you too. Sounds like you had a low key day y'day? How's your Dad travelling? And your Mum & yourself with the whole situation.

Can your boys still not travel to their Dads? I saw on the Age website this morning of a big beach party at Bronte - idiots!! I hope there is no further spread of covid from it. The numbers are low again today, which is really good.

Hoping you are ok, I'm sure you would have had lots of mixed emotions y'day (unless I'm overthinking, which is what I tend to do). xx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi beautiful L❤️

It was a different day. Very low key and cut very short due to Dad's health but we were fortunate compared to some. Mum had about 50% of the variety of foods to other years and Dad had had enough very early on. It was nice but not the same.

My boys can't travel up to their Dads. I'll never understand why she came to the decision. It has major effects on their headspace, a feeling of rejection as it is over the top considering everything. Anyway I am just trying to overcompensate as I have done pretty much their entire lives. Personally I think it hit their father pretty badly too which is a worry as he suffers depression himself.

Yes party at Bronte, it's beyond me how people are so f*n stupid and self absorbed.

I am in two minds as to NYE, bf has booked somewhere special and sadly due to covid lockdown in their area some of our family can't come and I'm nervous if it does even open to go at all due to Dad. My closest gf is invited and will be bringing her adult daughter. This makes me nervous (for Dads health). I don't know what to do. Dad's adamant he wants it to go ahead. I am going to be brave and just ask my gf about her movements and explain it is to keep Dad safe. If it upsets her then I hope she'll forgive me and understand why I have to ask.

How's little Levi's ear, all better now?

What are you up to for the day hun? @WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi babe @Anastasia

I can imagine how y'day was different for you. I know when my Dad was battling cancer, each special event had a 'different' feel to it. Mum and I felt it, can't say my sister did. As she had moved away the year before he passed, and I knew in my heart of hearts it would be his last Christmas with us, but she didn't 'get' it and comes down to Melbs those holidays. We definately think and act differently, which adds to the friction between the two of us.

Are you saying it's your boys step mum's decision, or referring to the premier. Either way, your situation appears to be right in that 'fine line' where it could go either way. I feel for your boys and their father, as I totally understand how restrictions can affect your headspace negatively - your control is ripped from you and you feel helpless, rejected and many other emotions.

Just hold out a few days regarding deciding on NYE. The covid decision is definately a day by day situation - even hour to hour. I'm sure your bf will be supportive if the need comes to speak to her about it. Time with your Dad is precious atm, more precious than anything. It'll all work out I'm sure.

not much on for Levi and I today. We'll go for a walk in a bit and then take it easy.

I cancelled his vet appt on Wednesday as he was improving, but he keeps itching his ear and breaking the skin, so he needs drops.

Ill book him in for Monday - or is that a public

holiday? If so,'it'll be Tuesday. No need for an emergency vet visit. He lets me massage his ears,

so they can't be too bad. Ollie used to

get ear infractions, so I know what to look out for - as a second time doggie mum 🐶

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

You are a good mummy @WIP

Hopefully it will pass and there won't be the need for the vets. Like you I didn't know it was Saturday today until the alarm didn't go off today! Monday is a public holiday ✔️ I know this as I sent out a holiday leave email prior to finishing up on the 23rd. 🐱

Yes the boys step mum decided as she got a cold after they last visited apparently. Neither were sick and her work involves travelling all over the place but sadly my boys seem to have copped the blame ☹️

Yes every event with Dad now is "different", thank you for understanding xxx I better get up, need to get my boy his meds and he hasn't moved as yet. Love you, big hugs to both of you xxx 🤗🐕❣️

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