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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP 💚💙🖤

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you @outlander 🌻💞🌻💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi and thankyou for your morning messages this week @WIP @Snowie It's lovely of you to think of me. I really appreciate it.
I'm really sorry that I haven't replied until now. I've been on an emotional roller coaster and have been trying to get out of the hole I've been in.
Hoping you're both ok. 💖💞

And hi to @Maggie also. Thankyou for tagging me in your thread. I hope I feel up to replying there sometime soon. Sorry I haven't done so yet. 💜



In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi lovely @Anastasia

I remember my Aunty has lupus and she was always in chronic pain, so I do really hope that's what your diagnosis doesn't get bumped up to.

You sound as though you are doing all then right things during the day and if it's just pain meds you need sometimes of a night, I'd be ok with that.'but I suppose it's how you feel about taking meds I guess. I've been throwing pain medication down my throat since our car accident and my neck/back/injury and then AD meds since I was 25, so it's just routine that I wake up and take my meds and vitamins..

My sister & I have always had a rocky r'ship. She's that far off with the fairies, sometimes we joke she's on her own planet. Emotionally speaking I mean. But she is different since having children & now they are her whole purpose. And if anything comes close to her not being able to look after her kids 'like her current bout of 'slight anxiety', she withdraws from the cause quick smart. And I'm that cause - my MH is too hard for her to deal with, she doesn't want to even try & understand. But yes, this new psychologist will help me work through it all. Along with my daddy issues, my body imagine issues, my emotional dusregulation, being single for so long/no children .....the list goes on and on 😉

I suspected work might be crazy busy. It must be fun organising the parties though. I hope you attend them and get to appreciate your hard work? Will you have some time off after Christmas? You deserve it.

Love & hugs

L & Levi 💖💖💖🐶

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Please don't be sorry hun for not replying @Former-Member

We all have those times and sometimes we just need to concentrate all of our time and enegy on ourselves.

I hope you are doing a little better and today is an ok day for you.

Lots of love and hugs

💞💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi precious @Former-Member

No apology, or response required.

Sorry to hear that you've been battling an emotional roller coaster this week - it's tough, I know!

But you've made it to the end of the week (weekdays anyway) and that's a massive achievement.'so, well done you!!

I hope today brings you some kindness 💖💞💖

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks for understanding @WIP @Snowie

💞🌺🌷🌸💞

Need to sort something out here. 😩

Tradie left a job half done. Supposed to be back hours ago. Won't answer calls. I really don't understand some people. So stressful.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds


Fingers crossed @WIP , I really don't believe that it is so I am running with that for now 🙂

Yes I get to attend all of them so well worth the hard work 🙂

Mind you I didn't enjoy, interact too much at last years having had the worst year of my life due to my boys health. It was my first time out since his S attempt and first drink/s, so better times at present and hoping to stay awake this year!

Finishing early today to head into the City so looking forward to that, although with the latest on Covid numbers a tad of anxiety aroung going out especially to the city.

I have time off, my last day is the 23rd so counting down the minutes.

Logging off for the day so sending you an abundance of love and hugs and everthing you need to remember and BELIEVE that you are AWESOME.

You've got this L xoxo

💖💖💖🐶 (cuddles for Levi too)


In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

That does sound stressful @Former-Member

I hope he comes back and finishes the job for you.

Other then that, how is your day going?

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@Former-Member No need to be sorry. We all understand. Look after yourself. It’s good to see you when you can manage,without any pressure.

Its raining hailstones here at the moment. Better close some windows and doors. ☔️☔️

I always appreciate you pic arounf the forums.💙💙💙

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