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I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember23 July 2016, 6:06 pm AEST

I am struggling at the moment

I don't know why I am really writing this. There seems to be part of me which says that I need to pull my head in and do this alone and another part who so desperately wants to reach out for help. I am really struggling. I'm not coping at all. For much of the day I've thought about all the reasons to die and there are hundreds. There is also one reason to live that keeps me here. I can't let down my oldest son and cut out his trip of a lifetime. He would have to come home and pick up all the pieces for everyone. I keep telling myself I have to hold on until he comes back and then I can let go but this keeps me waiting to die not choosing to live. I have a cold sore that now goes from the corner of my eye the length of my nose and it's slowly creeping across my face from stress. It started on Wednesday and each morning I wake to find more of my face engulfed by it. I am so tired. I am so sorry to write this and I know I'm so lucky to have friends on here that care. I don't want anyone to have to deal with this as it is so depressing so I started this thread as a way of saying that I'm not well when writing here and please don't feel obliged to read or respond.

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In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor02 Dec 2016, 5:36 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Former-Member @Former-Member

I'm on the move again today ... but walking with you in spirit ....

Well done on the wash load and shower Bridget .... agree with @Former-Member .... anything achieved on a low day is good. If you had the flu and were laid up in bed, would you be stressed about not getting things done .... maybe.... but you would acknowledge that you had the flu, were feeling energy-less and head-fogged, and just accept that it was a day where you couldn't be expected to achieve. You would also know it would pass.

Hugs n hugs ....

Hi @Former-Member ...

💜💜💜

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

HappynessSenior Contributor02 Dec 2016, 5:44 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

I've had a lung infection for possibly three years

But as usual were stuck in the mental health system

I don't expect much

But i do what i can for myself

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor02 Dec 2016, 5:48 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Happyness 💕

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember02 Dec 2016, 5:59 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

It's ok @Former-Member, I understand. 😙💕
It's difficult to say much when feeling very low. I hope you were brave and made the phone call you wanted to make. xo 🌹🌼🌸

Hi @Former-Member 😙💕

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope 😙💕

It's just that I struggle with the same every day. No energy, no motivation, severe anxiety again. And my daughter is on holidays and I don't want her to see me like this every day. I try to pretend, but it's hard.
I want to go out and do fun things with her, but it's so hard.
The depression comes with me wherever I go.
I have everything, there's no reason I should feel like this. That's what's so frustrating. I keep telling my daughter, we'll go away, or do this and that, then I feel like I can't do it.

Sorry to be so negative.

I feel like I've gone backwards lately, even though I'm doing all the right things that I know to do. It honestly feels like I'm always going to be like this. But I have to get better. I can't live like this. It's not living.

I really try to distract and be positive.

Hi @Former-Member 😊 It's lovely to meet you. 🌹🌼🌰

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember02 Dec 2016, 6:01 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hello @Happyness. 😊 Lovely to meet you too. 🌷🌼🌺
How are you today? ☺

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember02 Dec 2016, 6:07 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

The trouble is it hasn't been passing @Faith-and-Hope. 😩😮😨
I've been like this forever. I'm good at pretending.
Thanks for taking time to care, when you're so busy. 😙💜

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember02 Dec 2016, 7:30 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

It's ok @Former-Member...you are not going under.
Your here ❤, and yes Friday's are hard no doubt for a good many here. 😘

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember02 Dec 2016, 7:39 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Former-Member

sorry things are so awful this week for you. You can get through this though, you've been through times like this before and it got better again. Is there anything that you cand do that will help you feel a little better right now? lj

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember02 Dec 2016, 7:46 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hmm I find those thoughts happen to me too @Former-Member...particularly if I feel wrong done by or maybe it's me looking for wrong to evade more hurt.
I'm listening to p.j Harvey...I find those softer floaty sounds take me away...kind of memory of who I was/ am...
I think knowing a sense of self helps one to 'just be' a little more.
I hope you are ok?

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember02 Dec 2016, 7:50 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Thanks @Former-Member, @Former-Member. I shouldn't have posted. I hope you enjoy your night. Best wishes for the countdown @Former-Member. I hope your workload is better this week

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