I am struggling at the moment

@Kurra @Former-Member

It does ❣

Hey @Former-Member. It's ok that you weren't on earlier. I was just pleasantly surprised by the support I received this morning. I know your there for me just like I hope you know I want to be there for you. Last night I missed your posts about your anxiety around future plans for study and volunteering. I hope you found some clarity around that today or at least some peace with it. 💜😊💐

@Kurra @Former-Member

I agree ❣

Heading out for a quick walk ....

❤️

Hi @Former-Member

How great your therapist let you sleep for a while before you went home - that was a bonus

And if things are too tough there is hospital - that will help just having the option - having options helps me a lot

And the on-line journal - brilliant - you don't have to go through all the details and the timeline of what happened when and how it affected you in a short session

All the best with all of that - it is tough - I know - I seem to remember you have one older son and three much younger - is this you - that must be a challenge

You are in my thoughts

Decadian

Thanks @Decadian i am feeling much more settled after my appointment now. I have 21 yr old son studying in Prague, 20 yr old studying here and about to go to America and lives with his girlfriend at my house, 19 yr old who hasn't lived with me for 2.5 years but I see him regularly and a 16yr old who lives with me. The 21yr old will move back in when he returns in February after living overseas for 12 months. So it's all a bit complicated and busy here now. From February until about 4 weeks ago it was just the 16 yr old and me. I hope this helps. 💜😊

Yes @Former-Member

Thanks for explaining that - I thought your boys were younger - and that is easier to understand

My family must be difficult to understand too - my uncles were so young I thought they were my big brothers and I had to have it explained that they were Dad's brothers which is why they lived with my grandparents

One of my cousins was born after my son - and I had miscarried several times or I would have had my family before one of my aunts started

My dd married a man with three children - 2 of whom are married and have 7 children between them - one was a teenage Dad but he married the girl and they are doing well - I have one biological grand child who is in her twenties - and I have a great nephew who is still very small - maybe 2 or 3 years old - so my family jumps across generations.

I had an aunt - my mother's sister - who died very young - and I am trying to think how old she would be now - 108 I think - something like that if my dates are right and often I learn that they are not

Confusing - yes - it still is

Dec

Wow @Decadian you have lots of complexities in your family....and a large family. I am lucky for now my boys still come home but I can see a time where their lives will all be filled with their families too. My son moved out with his girlfriend but they struggled financially and asked to move in here. My S3 lives with another family who took him in when our lives were tipped upside down after my first suicide attempt. She is a beautiful mum to him and he still comes home to visit his family regularly and we are beginning to rebuild our family slowly after much chaos. My 16 yr old has only been living back with me for a year as well. I'm so glad you have a great relationship with your dd. 💜😊

Hi @Former-Member

I am incredibly sad that some of your sons had to live with other people when you had your first suicide attempt - it just about breaks my heart thinking that -

Yes - I know my history - suicide is still prefixed by "committing" - it was a crime - and as it was impossible to punish the person who had died they punished the family instead -

Terrible - crime added to crime - but you survived and found your children were gone - I guess they had to be cared for - but I am sad - regardless

And I don't know if I have said it here but I know how dark that can be - how hopeless and terrible - and bleak - it's not something I talk about

Yes - I do have a large and complex family - and then my dd has her father's family as well - and as many years have passed since I heard much about him I think the has step-grandchild through his second wife as well - and his second wife - she's really nice - I guess she knows how this man came to be free to remarry when the time was ripe - but I haven't seen her for years

It's amazing how much damage a toxic member - or two - can cause in a family - there could be new babies everywhere in my family - things change and I often wonder why things are the way they are - but still I do have my dd and my gd and I am finding my dd's steps on Facebook again after losing them with my new computer

And life goes on - it does indeed - and I am glad you see your sons - and still have one living with you

Decadian

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