I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Former-Member

Hey - don't worry about the pulled posts - at least you read them, your wrote them - that's not a bad thing at all - after all this scramble is your stuff and you are at the centre of the bubble

I like that bubble diagram - I could use one of them - like me in the middle and my battle with PDF documents which sends me into a bumpy ride - and when I write that it looks insignificant - but the way I feel is anything but - I am totally fed up with the whole thing and seem to have wasted all the morning

Bah - but about you - it depends a whole lot on the therapist I think - having finished with mine and thinking about another - there is always a beginning to what has happened to us and that is in the past - and I can't help thinking that unless we go back into the past (scary activity) then we are scratching the top of the pile - and this is not really doing more than inflaming the issue - I forget about the past therapist - but she seemed to hook into this

Having 4 boys and being a single parent with your head in the middle of a tail-spin must be horrible - and at times - impossible - each of your children needs different things at different times and from what I remember of having only one of each - I had to be a mental athlete and brilliant at the impossible job of multi-tasking to jump from one child's needs and possibilities to the other without either the kids or me having a melt-down

Those days are so long gone - but I remember the frustration, the hopelessness - the fear - omstars - am I insane?

Of course if we worry about that we are probably not insane - but still

I kinda relate - the years of growing children in my life has long passed - my great-grand-children seem to be wonderful kids - but I don't see them often and who knows - a lot of hard work must happen that the old girl only knows about with experience

I get it @Former-Member

And I am so glad you are sharing

Decadian

Big hugs @Former-Member ❣

Thinking of you. These things may feel intimidating, but break them down into little bite-sized pieces and you will get through .... and we're here for you xx

Make sure you've got that comfort box stocked up .... and get your walking shoes ready .... ❣

❤️💕

May need much motivation @Faith-and-Hope (read kicks up the bum) to get walking shoes on but yes that's what I have to do. It may be a case of having a D4 but just not in your face 😜 (And sadly of similar age to you) I did get chocolate on the way home. Fell off the rails again this weekend with medication and everything again. It was the first time that my therapist nearly didn't let me go home but I collapsed under pure emotional exhaustion and slept in the waiting room for over an hour. When I woke up she bought me a coffee which helped to recharge and we made plans for me to come home. I'm ok for now. Just working out how to get back on the horse.

Thinking of you @Former-Member. I wish I was on here earlier to give you some support.

And I tried to send this prior to walk and some reason it was saved in my drafts.

Please take care of yourself.

You will do it @Former-Member .... even if it's in fits and starts to begin with .... things need to settle back into place for you .... and it will happen .....

Never, never, never give up on yourself .... you're too precious ❣

This may sound a bit odd ... but bear with me .... 💜💕 .... prepare for success ....

Place your walking shoes by the door with your dog's ball (constant companion, right ?) and hat / sunscreen / sunglasses nearby ... preparing to just get them on and go ....

Expect to take your medication, and maybe kiss a corner of your bathroom mirror to mark the occasion of taking it .... or spray a perfume on .... engage your senses in achievement activities and remember what it feels like ....

Little by little you need to overwrite these areas of your life with new confidence and that feeling ... feeling .... what it feels like .... the same way you have to feel how it is to cry as an expression of your feelings .... you also need to experience success and contentment, and joy .....

Baby steps ... don't rush yourself .... it will start to happen naturally with mindfulness ....

Patience m'dear .... 🌷💗💕

Thanks @Decadian, @Former-Member, @utopia @Kurra @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Sahara, @Appleblossom for your support. It really helps to feel that support around me. And I should say @Faith-and-Hope for your ever timely responses.

One of the positive things that came out of today's appointment is that we are going to try the online journal on the therapy website we use. It's a new feature that was just introduced this week. This will mean my therapist will know where I'm at better and then be able to prepare and provide activities targeting more specifically my areas of need without wasting so much time in sessions going through the weeks chaos but not having time to deal with much. I think this will help a lot. We also acknowledged that I haven't been telling her everything and I let the cat out of the bag for some things.

Thanks again for your much appreciated support. 💜😊💐