I am struggling at the moment

Too Many People Hate

And Not Enough People Love

Its Getting Rough Out There In The Real World...

...And Its Like No One Will Let Me Fit In

And So I Hope 'SaneForums' Is More Sane Than The Cruel World Our There

At Least Some Experience Of Someone To Communicate With

@Appleblossom @Former-Member @Former-Member

Advice from my Gran -

"Learn to ignore things that were better left unsaid".

Advice from my Mum -

"You don't have to wear things other people want to put on you ...." (took a while for that one to really sink in in terms of attitude, judgement, expectations, etc ....)

@Former-Member .... I am glad you have your therapist to sift through things with .... she can help you dismantle carefully and reconstruct with your own choice of building materials .... baby steps ....

I am very glad that some of my life experiences are helping you guys now .... at the time they are happening, and you're trying to get sorted, you can wonder what it's all for .... when you realise the lessons extend far beyond yourself, it's very humbling .... and I am full of happy tears to think they have ended up being gifts that keep giving .... all those tears, bitterness and anger have melted down into something that grows health and beauty instead ....

Wishing you all a peaceful night ....

Big hugs, bella's all .....

💐💗🌷❣💕🌿💜

@Happyness is right.

Hope you are ok @Former-Member

Thanks @Appleblossom, @Faith-and-Hope , @Former-Member my energy is low for most of the day today too. Managed to shower and a few other small things. I'm with you @Former-Member to help with our motivation. I think I'm on to something with the absorbing moods posted previously. I'm all out of steam for now and going to bed. Wishing everyone a good night. I guess we'll repeat it all again tomorrow. Good news is I think the really bad cycle has broken, no crisis lines needed tonight, thank goodness. I haven't had thoughts so SH today and I just realised that so I guess that's a win.

Quick hi and hope you're ok shout out to @Decadian and @Former-Member , thinking of you now that I'm not quite so far in the quagmire.

Hugs💜😊💐

Hi @Former-Member

Thanks for the shoutout and thinking of me .

Sorry to hear you had a low energy day, my day was not as good as Wednesday. I've not got my results back yet from my test I had to reschedule I didn't feel like getting my referral on Moday as I didn't sleep well at all on Sunday night. Plus Kira my staffy had surgery again on Wednesday but she is a tough cookie, it is her third operation this year. My baby as recurring cancers since 2013 and she had chemo treatment last year but she is still holding her own and it does not seem to affect her at all. She is still really happy, I walked her twice yesterday and today and I cooked her some treats today. I think I felt good on Wednesday because I had to raise up to help Kira and make sure she was okay, I was able to sleep for a couple of hours today and I did that on Wednesday too.

I'm not sure how I will sleep tonight but fingers cross I will be asleep again soon.

I am ok. Thanks @Former-Member

Spoke to my son on phone ... he is ok and playing tomorrow too. I got cross with him last night cos he wandered in to rehearsal about an hour late ... hmmm ... and they are paying him... but 2 folk there said it was good he showed up ... and its all good ..

I have been house cleaning instead of doing my piano practise for tomorrow's performance ... blaahrrrdy hell.

I slept all day so I guess its my gym workout for the moment.

I am sure I will have some time to pull it together in the wee hours of the morning ...better be able to .. any performance is only as good as it is ... I am norty as I dont go for perfection ... I go for not too stressed and good enuff. ... am playing at 1pm and then relaxing all afternoon and evening in social situations with friends ... so the plan is to space out and enjoy .... catch train home and only have 5 min drive at the end.

So we are bumbling along ... he doesnt want to come to the social fundraiser .. and will get home on his own ... and so thats fine ... I need to know he can do things himself ... we have slightly different relationships with our sons @Former-Member

It would be great if they mixed up their personalities with each other ... your boy came home more often .. and my son was good and taking off successfully into the world more often ... but still calling home!!

... the way the next generation deal with the big moral and spiritual questions ... is in their hands ... and is in the future ..

Morning @Former-Member ..... 💐💜

I woke up with a word in my head for you ...... filter ❣

Take that to your therapist and see what the two of you can do with it .... maybe .... ? 😏

We don't open every piece of junk mail that arrives in our snail-mail letterbox ..... we don't open every piece of spam that shows up in our email inbox ..... we don't open every "you are the winner !" flashing-border-window that pops up during an Internet search ..... and yet we can struggle to filter other people's comments and attitudes in the really-real interactions of daily life .... 🤔

That's the critical thing I came to terms with when I found myself amongst a clan of passive-aggressives who did not have an innate respect for my emotional boundaries. I was taken in by a combination of my own expectation that I would be loved and respected, and by their masquerade abilities which I had not directly encountered before. It took some time to recognise that I had adversaries where I least expected them .... 😳😔😠😡

Then I had to learn to create a filter, that operated as a wall against unwanted emotional aggression, but allowed me to continue to work with integrity within those relationships .... It had to be something semi-permeable ..... that's where my politeness shield emerged .... I think that is my primary filter ❣

I can add warmth to it, and humour, or keep it cool and relatively flavourless, depending on who I am interacting with. It works like a professional manner. Rather than a "mask", I would refer to it as a "code of behaviour" probably .... others might refer to it as adopting different hats under different circumstances .... 🎩⛑🎓😎

I hope this is not too much info, but I am encouraged by the fact that you listen, but then "park" information to process later. That's another skill my mother actively identified for me, and encouraged me to practice .... all part of the filtering process I guess, and you'Ve already got that part operational .... 😊💜

🌷💗💕