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Something’s not right

I am struggling at the moment

I am struggling at the moment

I don't know why I am really writing this. There seems to be part of me which says that I need to pull my head in and do this alone and another part who so desperately wants to reach out for help. I am really struggling. I'm not coping at all. For much of the day I've thought about all the reasons to die and there are hundreds. There is also one reason to live that keeps me here. I can't let down my oldest son and cut out his trip of a lifetime. He would have to come home and pick up all the pieces for everyone. I keep telling myself I have to hold on until he comes back and then I can let go but this keeps me waiting to die not choosing to live. I have a cold sore that now goes from the corner of my eye the length of my nose and it's slowly creeping across my face from stress. It started on Wednesday and each morning I wake to find more of my face engulfed by it. I am so tired. I am so sorry to write this and I know I'm so lucky to have friends on here that care. I don't want anyone to have to deal with this as it is so depressing so I started this thread as a way of saying that I'm not well when writing here and please don't feel obliged to read or respond.

3364 replies

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In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Sans911 Thank you. It meant a lot that you were there last night. I’d imagine you are having a crash day today after a big day yesterday. Thinking of you too 💜🤗

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

I would like to have a crash day @Teej but settled for a morning one instead. I almost sh yesterday when I got home because all I wanted to do was shut down. But I managed to ride it out.

I've been thinking of you a lot this morning. I'm not sure of all the c-link details and what happened but have you seen a social worker from "c-link' at all? Have you had a work capability test done by them? Because it's clear you can't work. Your GP can do a medical certificate. Heck, even I'll write one, because it's that obvious. And your pdoc and therapist can write letters stating you are incapable of working as you're unable to function with your day to day living. I don't want to rehash all this trauma for you. But when things go pear shaped in my world, I fall apart first, then I get back up spoiling for a fight. And I don't let go or back off until my point is made. Especially of late, I've used as many people and resources as I can to fight for my right to the dsp.

Just my thoughts about you this morning. I hate how much life is kicking you in the solar plexus. Hugs @Teej

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hugs @Teej. Lots of feels reading your post, mostly like @Sans911, huge dislike for how much life is hurting you at the moment.

No-one is copping anything from you here and you don't need to be sorry. Venting is healthy I think. I know I'd be very volcano like without venting.

Hoping therapist and psychiatrist get on the same or similar page soon. I can see how jumbly that could be especially at the moment when it seems you really need your supports working together for you.

Mega hugs 💗

@Sans911 everything crossed for you with the dsp. I know how hard and tiring that fight can be and really hope it works out for you.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

My medical certificates were rejected @Sans911. My psych put one in and it was rejected so we put another in and is was rejected because they say my condition is permanent. If it’s permanent I have to apply for the DSP but my psych won’t support that. She says that it’s rubbish that my condition is permanent too which is probably true. My GP won’t write anything to do with my mh as she says it’s not her domain which I respect. My GP has contact from my psych after every appointment. It’s not a case that she is not on my side but that she trusts my psych and thinks that it’s best left to the expert in the field.

I have had exemption through a job capacity assessment every year for five now and so Centrelink say that that unless I can provide new evidence I can’t go for a job capacity assessment and if I need to then have to apply for the DSP. The lady at the job network showed me the dsp paperwork and said I need to apply for it. She knows I’m not ready either. She gave me bubbles to help regulate my breathing and distract to get through the interview. I couldn’t take in anything she was saying I was so distressed. I dont meet the criteria for anything except being useless, there is no category for that either.

The hardest thing is that i do want to get to a place where work is possible. Until this all came up I was hoping to attack volunteering again this year. I had support lined up for that too. I need to be able to survive in an environment that is not mental health supported first before I can try the real thing. I needed small steps. In the last appointment she promised she wouldn’t throw me in the deep end yet but on my visit on Wednesday she flipped and did, but only because of the Centrelink stuff, so strongly is her view of me not going on the DSP.

I know now I have stupidly crazy high anxiety of this but I wanted to deal with it. A few years ago I found out that my grandmother had attempted suicide. I wasn’t given a reason and to this day I doubt that my parents would know. I did the maths and put it together knowing what I understand about her. She attempted at the same time that she had to start working to support my dads tertiary education. I don’t know this for a fact but I know in my genes because we are built the same genetically. It’s not a fear of working it’s a fear of all that comes with it.... getting something wrong, forgetting how to do something, being judged by others, having things confirmed about yourself that you’ve hidden from others for so so many years. She loved people and was funny and people loved her but she had the same secrets I do I think. My shame @CheerBear is fear of work. The fear is a life and death fear. How does that fit with mi or the real world. 😢😢😢😢😢😰

edited again to say that I think she had the same fears as I do about herself but she had many many more dark traumatic secrets she took to her grave. She refused to say anything about her childhood, she was raised in an orphanage. I have nothing on her pain.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Thanks @CheerBear. I saw you are having a day of trying to get back up. How is that going?

@Sans911 Well done for holding it all together. You have done so well. I hope the DSP comes your way. 🙏🤞🏻

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Actually @CheerBear there is much more to my shame but at the core the fear of work is more the result 😔

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

I was writing up a heart felt reply when my friend rocked up with no notice and no indication I wanted to see him today (probably the opposite of that if anything). I now need to go and deal with that.

Going to send you lots of ❤ @Teej and maybe try that reply later.

X

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Friend didn't stay long. I don't think "what are you doing here" is the greeting he was hoping for. Maybe oops for me but maybe also a lesson in boundaries for him. Back to the reply I was writing.

You said your pain is nothing on your Grandmother's but I don't think we can compare pain @Teej and I don't know how helpful it is to try to do so. What your grandmother went through sounds like it would have been really hard but from what I understand of you, you do it pretty hard too. I think it matters less why that is than it matters that it is (yay scrambled words that make more sense in my head than I can get out in writing 😏).

I can relate to some of those fears you hold and get how difficult they can be. I've struggled with perfectionist tendencies and the anxiety that comes with them for pretty much ever but they seem to have become next level since my big bang. I think for me it is because somewhere I feel like I did something wrong and missed something and should have done better. In some way I think I believe that maybe if I had done those things we wouldn't have been in the position we were in when life went bang (though I also get that the responsibility ultimately rests with he who did what he did too). The way my life has played out so far means I like to be in control of things to do with me. I like things to be predictable. I like them to be organised and I need to be able to understand them. I don't cope well without those things. Life outside of my bubble is not any of those things. Work wouldn't be those things and people are not those things.

I think why I am sharing that is that I get how crippling anxiety can be. It can make lots of sense and no sense at the same time and it can be full of shame. Not fitting with the real world can be very, very hard and enough to make you not want to be around to try sometimes.

I hear you Teej and appreciate how messy things might be right now. I think it is brave of you to share your pain and your fears and to keep trying while facing them.

I am properly heading out now to try dig deep and get out and do what we had planned.

Big ❤

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Thank you for your response @CheerBear. It was really helpful to read. I will respond when emotion mind isn’t quite so strong. I hope tonight went well.

@Sans911 I realised that what I wrote might not be very sensitive to your situation. Please know our circumstances are really different. I will be really happy for you if you get the DSP and think it deserved. If you don’t get it I’ll be really disappointed for you. Currently my diagnosis is really unclear which isn’t helping anything in a way but has been helpful for me to do therapy without feeling treated like a diagnosis. It’s another complication in my turn of events. I hope I haven’t hurt you in the process.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Teej, do you want a quiet callout tomorrow or a BIG callout tomorrow xoxox

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