I am struggling at the moment

It's not right @Former-Member to wait and watch someone in pain and distress when it could be eased with a bit of kindness and calmness and caring. It would have taken someone 15 min to help this person in distress. It seems there are such simple ways to preserve dignity that are sometimes overlooked.

@Former-Member@TAB@Former-Member

Yes - it is terrible that someone has to suffer terrible distress without help - and we are sometimes not in the position to help at all - not enough staff to go around - not enough people who are supposed to care - caring

There are times when the patients help each other more - I seem to remember that -

And @TAB

I try to remember my son at peace - I think he has found that - I don't know when - but I sensed he did

But it is all so terribly final - one has to get to that point - it's so final and nothing more can be done

@TAB

I appreciate what you have said - and I understand - we are all tourists at some stage

I was lost in Canberra - walking - it happens - and I defined a tourist as someone looking for their way and asking directions

It's okay - really -none of us can know another's life -

Decadian

Everybody matters @TAB .... you use jest as a way of breaking tension ... we all get that cos we all do it too ... in our own ways ... and that's okay.

None of us is perfect, and we won't get it right 100% of the time, but that's just a part and parcel of sharing the space, and thoughts, and feelings, and building resilience, tollerance, and all that stuff ....

Sharin' the road here ... 😏

..just smiling..

Thank you for sharing your experience with us Teej. You are going through a very stressful time and I would suggest that you take everything one moment at a time. And congratulate yourself for not self harming. You are doing really well to reach out on here, I think that will help reduce your levels of stress, even if just a little bit. And please dont feel like a burden. You dont need to do this alone. You can have the support of people on here, or on crisis phone lines, or your doctor, or your family and friends.
I will say that I have been suicidal before and something that stopped me from trying to end my own life was similar to yours, not wanting to hurt family members. I will say that this is a very good reason to stay alive, and when you are less depressed you will notice many other reasons to want to be alive. It is ok that you arent seeing those things now. It is ok to be experiencing what you are experiencing. I dont know you, but I am proud of you for reaching out. Now, for the moment, the present moment, are you taking care of yourself? There is a self care game at http://philome.la/jace_harr/you-feel-like-shit-an-interactive-self-care-guide/play that might be helpful for you. Also, please know that taking care of yourself is ok and its not selfish, and will help improve your mood and then you might feel less suicidal.
I am really sorry you are going through this and Im awake if you want to talk.
P.S. I hope you never hurt yourself, you sound like a wonderful caring person

Thanks @ninjak,

Thanks so much for your kind words. I saw that link on your other thread and commented that it was quite good. I often fall into that place of almost becoming paralysed and not being able to think my way out of a paper bag. It might help to have that guidance for those days. Since my respite in hospital last week I am feeling more stable and a bit more optimistic but my mood changes wildly so I have to learn to ride the bad ones better than I have. I hope you are travelling well today. I'm sorry to read that you've also experienced similar things but glad that it seems you have found some ways to hold on. Wishing you the best. Take care 💜😊