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Something’s not right

I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember23 July 2016, 6:06 pm AEST

I am struggling at the moment

I don't know why I am really writing this. There seems to be part of me which says that I need to pull my head in and do this alone and another part who so desperately wants to reach out for help. I am really struggling. I'm not coping at all. For much of the day I've thought about all the reasons to die and there are hundreds. There is also one reason to live that keeps me here. I can't let down my oldest son and cut out his trip of a lifetime. He would have to come home and pick up all the pieces for everyone. I keep telling myself I have to hold on until he comes back and then I can let go but this keeps me waiting to die not choosing to live. I have a cold sore that now goes from the corner of my eye the length of my nose and it's slowly creeping across my face from stress. It started on Wednesday and each morning I wake to find more of my face engulfed by it. I am so tired. I am so sorry to write this and I know I'm so lucky to have friends on here that care. I don't want anyone to have to deal with this as it is so depressing so I started this thread as a way of saying that I'm not well when writing here and please don't feel obliged to read or respond.

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In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor31 July 2018, 9:57 pm AEST

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Teej ..... 💜💜💜

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

AppleblossomSenior Contributor31 July 2018, 9:58 pm AEST

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Account away Bella @Teej

I am no longer so good with numbers, tho.

If you want to talk I have a couple of hours before picking up son from train.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

TeejSenior Contributor31 July 2018, 9:59 pm AEST

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Struggling to not go too far. Might need some company until I crash. @Faith-and-Hope. I feel shattered and hopeless.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor31 July 2018, 9:59 pm AEST

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Deep breaths Hon .... and if you haven’t eaten anything this afternoon, eat something ... balance metabolic sugars to help you manage the adrenaline rush .....

Sitting here with you ... all night if needs be ..... my mr is away, and no classes tomorrow.

💜 @Teej .....

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

TeejSenior Contributor31 July 2018, 10:01 pm AEST

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Thanks @Appleblossom, @Faith-and-Hope. Have self medicated but need to stop and let it work before I go too far. I don’t know what to write.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor31 July 2018, 10:02 pm AEST

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Here for you @Teej. Have been to drawing classes tonight with D3. Home now and baking ..... and crafting ......

Here .....

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

TeejSenior Contributor31 July 2018, 10:03 pm AEST

Re: I am struggling at the moment

You don’t stop these days @Faith-and-Hope. I think it’s awesome though.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

AppleblossomSenior Contributor31 July 2018, 10:04 pm AEST

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Teej Maybe drink a bit of water too.

You had that big assessment today. Were they reasonable with you?

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

TeejSenior Contributor31 July 2018, 10:06 pm AEST

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Pretty sure my diagnosis will change after this. I have no clue what to though. I suspect loser. I don’t know how to fill my days. I don’t know who to be, I don’t think I’ll make it to the end of the year. I’m not made for this world.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor31 July 2018, 10:07 pm AEST

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Yeah @Teej .... hydrate ...

Brain needs water.

Drawing classes are to help get D3 back on her feet and into a short course .... and prepare a portfolio for applying for a diploma course next year.

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.