I am struggling at the moment

@Deiann79 - what a wonderful heart-felt post - thank you

@Appleblossom - I nearly missed this and my heart filled up too - how cruel some people are - I know they can be - and how rotten to take choir-priviledges away because this girl had been "naughty"

Truly it makes me wonder what "naughty" means - and how people can make the most innocent thing into a whip for their own purposes

Apple - you have a wonderful insight into the world that you share with us here - it certainly opens my eyes to a different side of life

As an add-on - the clinic where I attend frequently cares for medical needs of disabled people - some seem like children but it is hard to tell - and I hear these people struggling to communicate something - and I wonder "Is anyone listening" because they have a person with them - and it is hard to hear a person struggling to say something - anything

And I ask myself - is this person trying to communicate? And if yes - what? Does anyone hear them? Does anyone care? Just because a person cannot voice their thoughts doesn't mean they don't have them.

I could weep thinking of them - and about the girl in the choir losing choir priviledges - and that's people - and from time to time if the person in the wheel chair looks at me I will smile - but it is one sided - and I would like to know if they are afraid - I think they could be

Decadian

I have learned a lot in the past 24 hours about life, my emotions, gratitude and a bit of guilt for having some good luck. My good luck being my therapist who I guess constantly has my back and is helping to see forward again. But I have also been lucky with the support I've had from the hospital and in particular the psychologist who is also awesome and today helped me see the light for a few things that I couldn't see before when I popped in to pick up my phone charger I left there. I know there will be backwards ones again too but I guess as long as the trend is going up that's the main thing. I know I really haven't a handle on my extreme emotions too but will get to work on them. Not sure if I can write this but I will be giving up my stash to my therapist on Monday which is a huge thing for me. I'm still not ready to but it is a symbol of trust in my therapist and in therapy. She has guaranteed that she won't abandon me as long as Im making progress. So I'm feeling lucky and grateful and guilty that there are so many others who deserve the support I've been given by her. Sorry for my rambling and seriousness but I wanted to acknowledge it.

Thanks @Deiann79,

welcome to the forum. I've just updated a few things in the post above which are more positive. For those who know me a bit this is where my rock bottom and desperate thoughts are written. I am slowly climbing out of the abyss but it's still steps backwards and forwards. I'm not sure what your experiences are but hope you are travelling ok at the moment. Wishing you well😊💜

@Former-Member, @Decadian, @Appleblossom, @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope

i just wanted to thank you all again for your wonderful words of encouragement and support last night. Sometimes because I've made my world so insular I've protected myself from bad things or people and so when it happens I haven't had a lot of practice at coping with it and obviously let my emotions take me on a destructive journey. All of you helped enormously yesterday to help ensure I didn't go down that path. It really does make can difference when it feels like you've got someone who has your back. I've only ever really experienced this in the last 18 months or so and I guess like many have never really felt it before. I do on here and hope that I can give you all the support when you need it too. It was my last psychologist who taught me that saying and about what it meant. Anyway sending many hugs of appreciation. 💜💜💜💐💐💐

Thanks for the feedback @Former-Member

It is good to know a bit about the other person's story - I think those of us who are regulars know this about each other - and I find that I have a friends here who are a back stop too

When I first joined this site - after last Easter - I was a mess and everyone else seemed to have it together - now I know some stories

You're doing well @Former-Member - you have protected yourself against the knocks of the world and now you are getting out into it - hard work - and well done

Decadian

...." every accomplishment starts with the decision to try " ....

Thanks for walking with me while I have been walking with you ...

💚🌹

Ah @Former-Member I am glad that a few things seem clear and you are getting the sense of honest support.

If it was anything like the time I handed stuff to a GP .. it is huge .. dont ever apologise about serious stuff ..

There is time for lightness when the serious stuff is sorted.

@Former-Member

Yup - you've said it now - but I promise I will not say a word - I will wait until you say something

But that is huge!! - I remember back in the dark ages I had a little bit of something held onto - kept it secret - eventually I took it to the pharmacy for destruction

It was when I realised that the medication I was taken was not helping - and I threw the scripts away too - and haven't had those tablets for like Decades

@Appleblossom and I and a lot of people will be wishing you the best - great work

Decadian

It feels right to give you a pic