I am struggling at the moment

I went and physically found a support centre location today. I don’t think they really knew what to do with me, because I just turned up on their doorstep. There had been a long walk involved in getting there, so it was late-ish and they were starting to close down, but the lady who sat and spoke with me, and listened, was gorgeous.

The things she touched on and where I am at were par for the course, but it was a re-affirmation that I am on track in our holding pattern, awaiting whatever will befall us, but I have to keep trying to carve out a life in the limbo space anyway .....

It’s something like that for you too @Teej, and limbo is hard ..... This is a time of transition that hasn’t made its way around the dial yet ..... and yet we have to keep swimming regardless.

Swim with me .....

I should have known better too @Former-Member. Kind of ironic because I didn’t want any wee violins either so I tried lifeline but the robot script was probably worse. I think we could put together a minuscule orchestra for us just now. Not sure what they play :face_with_rolling_eyes:.

I am guessing that there is lots going on for you and hope you are doing ok rolling with it. I have a feeling the London philharmonic orchestra wouldn’t do some of the stuff you’re going through justice.

Thanks for the drop in. Waaay better than lifeline.

@Faith-and-Hope I didn’t do a very good job of thanking you for your support in the past few days too. Please know I’m grateful just struggling to take much in. It’s been a circus of me trying to pretend everything is ok. I had to meet parents of s1g who flew in from interstate and provide a meal for them this week too, even though they knew about my hospital stuff from Thursday. It all just feels surreal.

@Faith-and-Hope What was it about the conversation at the drop in centre was helpful?

I have so much going through my head. My therapist admitted to my son on Thursday that she was at a total loss with me. That was really confronting too. I’m not sure what happens at my appointment tomorrow. She hasn’t given up on me but doesn’t know what to do to help.

It was exactly that at the drop in centre @Teej ..... they can’t do anything more to help than listen. I think what was helpful was being able to go back through ticking the boxes again and finding (again) that there is nothing left undone, other than perhaps picking up a psychologist here, but I really don’t have the heart-space to go back through our whole story again with someone new ..... there will be a time I have to do that anyway, with a support group, or couples counsellor, or family counsellor or clinician for mr., or someone .... but that time is not now .....

It was helpful in that they can’t help .... how surreal is that ?

What I have to do is engage in life, even if I am just going through the motions until my own numb emotions catch up .... same sort of advice I am offering you, though our circumstances differ .....

@Teej @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member thinking of you. edited because my keyboard is failing me tonight

Hi @Teej, @F@H, @Former-Member... bit tired for a good reply so a quick flyby cyber hugzz for you ladies, and anyone else around. Stay strong at heart. Sleep well ❤❤❤

Hmmm @Faith-and-Hope 🤔

I had a hundred thoughts go through my head reading that. I might not share them just yet here but might with my therapist tomorrow. I’m glad you found comfort and reassurance in that discussion. Thanks for responding. It’s actually quietened my brain in that it gave it some things to ponder that weren’t sh stuff 🤨

i might say goodnight and try to sleep. I hope everyone reading this has an ok night.

@Former-Member, @outlander I saw you around before too. Thanks for your support too, 💜🤗

And I had to edit a couple of mine @Former-Member because I had Autocorrect fairies turning my negatives into positives by bumping the “n’t” off words just as I pressed the Send button ..... laugh or cry ....

Good to know @Teej .....

💜

And @Former-Member just saw your post. Thanks. 💜🤗