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I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember23 July 2016, 6:06 pm AEST

I am struggling at the moment

I don't know why I am really writing this. There seems to be part of me which says that I need to pull my head in and do this alone and another part who so desperately wants to reach out for help. I am really struggling. I'm not coping at all. For much of the day I've thought about all the reasons to die and there are hundreds. There is also one reason to live that keeps me here. I can't let down my oldest son and cut out his trip of a lifetime. He would have to come home and pick up all the pieces for everyone. I keep telling myself I have to hold on until he comes back and then I can let go but this keeps me waiting to die not choosing to live. I have a cold sore that now goes from the corner of my eye the length of my nose and it's slowly creeping across my face from stress. It started on Wednesday and each morning I wake to find more of my face engulfed by it. I am so tired. I am so sorry to write this and I know I'm so lucky to have friends on here that care. I don't want anyone to have to deal with this as it is so depressing so I started this thread as a way of saying that I'm not well when writing here and please don't feel obliged to read or respond.

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In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor22 Feb 2018, 7:16 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

How are you going with that @Teej ?

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

TeejSenior Contributor22 Feb 2018, 7:24 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @Former-Member

the moment I’ve been panicking about just happened and it was ok. My son came home and I told him I was on the waiting list for a bed in hospital. Luckily he had an extraordinarily good day and was calm about it all. I had been scared to face him.

Im a little more hopeful of getting through the night now. Thank you all for your kindness and support. It was overwhelming but kind of nice too. I was scared of that too, i often run at that point on the forum.

Im going to have a cuppa and hope that I can keep a lid on things for the next 16 or so hours. I have a psych assessment and medical clearance tomorrow and I’m really not keen about going into hospital. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and be less crazy.

hugs to all. 💜🤗

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor22 Feb 2018, 7:25 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

💜 @Teej ..... ?

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor22 Feb 2018, 7:32 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Please keep nibbling on food and sipping water @Teej ....it is going to be hard to keep things stable and work your way forward without dealing with your basic physical needs first, and ongoing .....

That and breathing right .....

Hugs n hugs Hon

💜💐💕

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember22 Feb 2018, 7:39 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

What @Faith-and-Hope said @Teej neither your body, not your mind can function without food and water. Self care 101 if you will .

Glad your son responded well. Look after you.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor23 Feb 2018, 8:22 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

So glad your son responded well @Teej ..... 💜💐

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

SilenusSenior Contributor23 Feb 2018, 9:02 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Sending morning hugs, @Teej

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember23 Feb 2018, 1:33 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Teej

When the struggle becomes all too hard....going into hospital is the best thing that you can do not only for yourself but also your family and friends...

I think that most of us feel at some stage even briefly that we are letting others down...a lot of codswollup..we are letting ourselves down if we don't go..

acknowledging that we felt the need to go to hospital then accepting the admittance are two steps..It took me some time to recognise this in myself in the past...

Hospital admittance is not only a positive action but also a very brave one...

You will start your new journey on the road to recovery by accepting first and foremost the very brave act of turning up and staying...

I haven't talked to you as much lately ..I do remember the first few talks that we had....I remember someone who had much courage and love for her family....so congratulations on taking this step...

ps less crazy in whose eyes? for all of those who see me that way.. perhaps they are not being true to themselves...

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember24 Feb 2018, 10:58 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Teej - looking out for you and hoping you're ok. Check in when you can, if you can. Look after you.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Shaz51Senior Contributor24 Feb 2018, 11:48 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

sending you hugs @Teej

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