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I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember23 July 2016, 6:06 pm AEST

I am struggling at the moment

I don't know why I am really writing this. There seems to be part of me which says that I need to pull my head in and do this alone and another part who so desperately wants to reach out for help. I am really struggling. I'm not coping at all. For much of the day I've thought about all the reasons to die and there are hundreds. There is also one reason to live that keeps me here. I can't let down my oldest son and cut out his trip of a lifetime. He would have to come home and pick up all the pieces for everyone. I keep telling myself I have to hold on until he comes back and then I can let go but this keeps me waiting to die not choosing to live. I have a cold sore that now goes from the corner of my eye the length of my nose and it's slowly creeping across my face from stress. It started on Wednesday and each morning I wake to find more of my face engulfed by it. I am so tired. I am so sorry to write this and I know I'm so lucky to have friends on here that care. I don't want anyone to have to deal with this as it is so depressing so I started this thread as a way of saying that I'm not well when writing here and please don't feel obliged to read or respond.

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In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember04 Feb 2017, 11:40 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Yes she does @utopia. @Faith-and-Hope does have lovely way of calming everyone. I think @Pepsimax would agree too. She's saved my backside a heap as has @Kurra. And it has been a hard time for so many on the forum in the last month or so. None of us seem to have escaped it 😔.

Im thinking I might need all your support to help me get out of my hole. My therapist says I'm stuck in my uncomfortable comfort zone. It's my place where one foot is stuck in the grave and one foot in the living. I've been taking my living foot out and hovering over the grave a fair bit again. I haven't taken my foot out of the grave to place in the land of the living. I think I need to be pushed out of it. I landed there by default years ago and have become paralysed. But I know I have to break it. Sometimes I can't see it because I let my emotions rule and I'm in my head too far.

I had a lucky break today.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember04 Feb 2017, 11:42 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Kurra How are you?

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor04 Feb 2017, 11:44 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Here's to more "lucky breaks" @Former-Member ..... ☕️💕 focus on the positives and keep building them ....

Hugs .... 💗

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor04 Feb 2017, 11:46 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

P.S. @Former-Member .....

Can you walk Peosimax through how to put a profile picture up ? You're better at it than me, and it depends on which device you're using too .... I bumbled through it on my iPad .... lol .....

I'm stepping out for a little while.

💕

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember04 Feb 2017, 11:48 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Absolutely @Faith-and-Hope 😊 Catch ya later. I might miss you so I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. 💜🤗💐😘

@Pepsimax are you on a phone? If so what phone is it?

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

utopiaSenior Contributor04 Feb 2017, 11:49 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Former-Member. A lucky break is fantastic. Anything that helps take you out of this 'hole' - is a blessing.
Yes you have a foot firmly planted in the grave - while the other moves around and occasionally hovers near the other foot. But I have a feeling that your 'grave' foot might be the one that starts moving soon - while the other foot remains steady on the land of the living.
I truly believe you can do this. You have showed amazing strength up til now. This has just been a temporary setback. You will start moving forward again soon. We all will.
I hope to talk with you tomorrow. I'm off to sleep now. Well done fir getting through a hard day.♥♥

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember04 Feb 2017, 11:51 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Sleep well @utopia 💜🤗💤😴

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

PepsimaxSenior Contributor04 Feb 2017, 11:56 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Former-Member I am on a LG android phone

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember04 Feb 2017, 11:59 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Ok @Pepsimax 👍 I'll just get the instructions for you. It will bring up the desktop version. You can add an avatar picture on there. Have you a picture on your phone you want to use?

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember05 Feb 2017, 12:05 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Pepsimax

Follow the steps below to request desktop version of websites on your Android Phone.

1. Open up the Browser on your Android Phone or Tablet

2. Go to or visit the website that you wish to request a desktop version

3. After visiting the website, tap on the 3 dot icon, located in the top right corner of your screen

4. From the dropdown list of options, tap on Request Desktop site option

From now on all website will be loaded in the desktop version, however you can easily disable this by unchecking the request desktop site box.

Once in the desktop site you can go to your settings (up the top right hand corner next to help), then profile pictures and you should be able to upload a picture from your phone or choose an avatar from there.
Good luck.

if you get stuck let me know. Looking forward to seeing it @Pepsimax😊

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