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I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember23 July 2016, 6:06 pm AEST

I am struggling at the moment

I don't know why I am really writing this. There seems to be part of me which says that I need to pull my head in and do this alone and another part who so desperately wants to reach out for help. I am really struggling. I'm not coping at all. For much of the day I've thought about all the reasons to die and there are hundreds. There is also one reason to live that keeps me here. I can't let down my oldest son and cut out his trip of a lifetime. He would have to come home and pick up all the pieces for everyone. I keep telling myself I have to hold on until he comes back and then I can let go but this keeps me waiting to die not choosing to live. I have a cold sore that now goes from the corner of my eye the length of my nose and it's slowly creeping across my face from stress. It started on Wednesday and each morning I wake to find more of my face engulfed by it. I am so tired. I am so sorry to write this and I know I'm so lucky to have friends on here that care. I don't want anyone to have to deal with this as it is so depressing so I started this thread as a way of saying that I'm not well when writing here and please don't feel obliged to read or respond.

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In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor06 Jan 2017, 4:32 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

❤️💕 .... @Former-Member

Hi @Happyness .... 🌷💜

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember06 Jan 2017, 11:18 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Former-Member how are you doing? been thinking of you,

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember06 Jan 2017, 1:04 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Thanks @Former-Member. I think I'm doing about the same as you. I'm going to take a step back from the forum for a bit. I can't do daily crisis on here at the moment. I feel like I'm taking people down with me. I really hope you pick up a bit once your back gets a bit better. You have been in the wars a lot lately. I'll be thinking of you and probably keeping half an eye on the forum although I suspect I may have to give it up for a bit. Take good care of you and enjoy some summer for a bit. 💜🤗

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember06 Jan 2017, 1:17 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Former-Member

You are best at knowing what you need. Hope that things do get better for you,

forums will be here if you need them though with lots of people who care,

hugs

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Zoe7Senior Contributor06 Jan 2017, 1:25 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Former-Member You DO NOT bring anyone down - that is what the forums are for - to listen, support and encourage. In saying that I do understand you need to do what you feel is best for you.

As @Former-Member has just said - do what you need to do for YOURSELF and we will be here for you if/when you need us. Take care and will be thinking of you

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember06 Jan 2017, 5:47 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Could a moderator please email me

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

devotedmumContributor06 Jan 2017, 6:32 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Teej,

So proud of you for going on this forum . I did for the first time yesterday and One lady related to my experience. I instantly felt like someone understands. Being a mother of 4 children. So proud that even though you are feeling low you are still selflessly thinking of your son. That tells me that you are a beautiful caring person. The fact that you are on this forum shows that you do care. Your son will be internally greatful. I am going through a rough patch dealing with my 20 year old daughter and it destroys me daily. I keep going for my family sake. Here is a link to a quick 4 minute motivational speech. They help me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UX2tefQHNmk. Keep doing your puzzles and keeping distracted.

You are a beautiful mum that you are reaching out.

Devotedmum

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor06 Jan 2017, 8:01 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Welcome to the forums @devotedmum .....

And yes, @Former-Member is a very beautiful person, caught up in awful circumstances, as are many others here .....

That relatability and compassion is priceless, and seemingly intensified by all our diverse circumstances .... it has helped me to cope so much, and there are others with their boats rocking harder than mine ....

Thank you for your caring support ... and all the best with your "baby dragon" .... I have 5 of them ....

🌷💜

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

DecadianSenior Contributor06 Jan 2017, 10:34 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Arck!!!!!! @Former-Member

Am I reading this right - that your mother is threatening to come and sort you out in the very near future?

That sounds bad - when my mother decided I needed improvement she would contradict herself - get it all wrong about what was happening in my life and she would be the last person I would want on my case - except maybe TS -

Hey - it's your home and your life and your disorder and your level of happiness/unhappiness - basically - it's your business

I know you have been walking into the walls and sometimes climbing them - but what did you say about your mother and anxiety? - Yes - you have seen her as a highly anxious woman and you have been terribly - badly - like "cowering" from your parents - yes - I had this with my mother at times - and I was often terrified of her but never let her know - thus I was seen as "difficult"

This doesn't sound good Teej - I am thinking of you

Dec

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember07 Jan 2017, 12:00 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Oh @Former-Member, big hug xox How will I manage without you and @aopleblossom around much? 😞 Well, just do what ya gotta do to be well. I'm not on that much myself, spits and spurts through the day, which probably annoys people but were all just doing the best we can. At least maybe you can pick one thread and pop in there once a day saying how you are, branch from there when ya up to it maybe. Take care Teej

Hi zoe7, glad you're feeling a bit better. so pleased to see you've settled into the forums so well 🙂

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