I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Former-Member

I am so sorry this has happened - and it could not have happened at a worst time

Funding cuts!!! Do the bean counters even think about the people who are abandoned when there are funding cuts - I guess MI doesn't seem that important when considering the single person - but the cost to the community is high when there is so much of it - and it is really not at all fair

Your old life has gone - we all understand that - and you are trying to build a new one - and for some reason a lot of people what the old you back again - this makes it hard because you are building a new life and that person you knew before was not working very well - I didn't know you then - I can only make a guess from how much you have written that I have read - and maybe in the future you can make it back to your old friendship group

Through my life though - I have moved on a lot - and found it best to put my energy into my new circumstances - and so apart from my family I don't have contacts from the past - maybe this will work for you - and I do hear what you are saying

Keep writing Teej - you have had a bad shock and such bad circumstances - but remember what your Pharms worker taught you and work on that

All the best with all of it - and we understand here - I guess we are the community between communities - and although on-line and amorphous - we are real people who care about you

[Hugs] Dec

Hi @Former-Member,

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way at the moment, if sleep is what will help then sleep if you can. How are things with your old best friend and reconnecting with them, are they able to provide you some extra support today or tomorrow, even if it's having a coffee or tea together to help you take your mind off things and help you climb out?

Please feel free to call the SANE helpline if you are wanting to chat, or keep sharing with us on here okay

Lunar

Haha I love the little smiley poo emoji's @Former-Member, my mood most of the time.

I totally know what you mean about having anxiety around little things to get done throughout the day, but just focus on one thing at a time (that way you won't overwhelm yourself and give up doing any) and when you wake up, that is getting out bed and into the shower/ having some breakfast and then once that is done start to focus on the next thing.

That is good you sorted the issue with the gas company, now you can tick that off the list, what is the next thing that needs to be done?

🙂

After a difficult night the mornings are often the hardest for me also to get up, get moving, stop thinking and find some sort of motivation to keep going. Just name a time you'll need the support each morning and I'll try to be here - might even help me to keep going also

Hi everyone ....

Hi @Former-Member .... 💜🌷 .... wanted to put a hug in here but the smiley face on it doesn't seem appropriate at the moment.....

Here are a few things that might help, but you will need to own them for yourself and commit to them to make them work. You know I believe in you, and there are so many others who do too .... you are very precious, you matter, you make a difference ....

Where you seem to spin out is when your focus turns inwards .... so can you make it a daily challenge to take your focus off your inner world and place it firmly and deliberately on your outer world ?

Firstly you need structure to the day. Even pyjama days need to have several things ticked .... and make that a golden rule for yourself .... like checking in .... and checking in here like @Former-Member has been is an excellent idea ....

Examples -

Say "good morning" to someone .... here will do, but your kids are in the house with you ... greet them with a "good morning" whether it's "good" or not .... cos it's a traditional structure .... think of it as scaffolding .... same with saying "good night" before going to bed.

Make a morning coffee a staple in your day .... a "have to" .... (if that hasn't got you in giggles already cos a day without coffee is unthinkable maybe ? ... )

Set yourself three "mealtimes" a day within an hour's span .... or 1.5 hours .... or 2 hours .... whatever you think will work for you .... and make sure you have at least three dry goods foods in your coping box in your room so they are right there even if you don't get out of your room for the day - eg sesame-wheat biscuits (salt is good for stress), dried apricots, bag of almonds, muesli bar, fruit box, dried cereal and long-life milk box ... you can get creative ... and the rule is that you have to have something at mealtimes .... don't care if it's a single almond .... it's the principle of the thing ....

Journal ... write in a journal ... but do it like this -

Write about two (2) things that are good, helpful, beautiful, interesting, then one (1) thing that needs working on ....

Note that I didn't say one bad thing ..... I said something that needs working on .... so whatever "bad" thing is going on in your head needs to be re-worked into the frame of being something to be worked on .... and that might mean how to avoid a bad thing, or to turn a bad thing into a not-so-bad thing ...

Write about things you would like to see happen in your future .... like your boys graduating, getting married, having children, renovating / decorating your house .... exclude any worry about money or how it is going to happen ... this is a wish-list to help you focus on positive possibilities for the future.

Ask for old magazines, or use junk mail, but glue into the journal every interesting or beautiful thing you can find .... scrapbook it .... glue some things in as square or rectangle images ... others cut around completely .... like an image of a gorgeous coffe mug, or a butterfly, or flower, so you make it like a sticker ....

This might seem like a childish thing to do, but it's not at all .... along with the bits and pieces that go into this journal will be an anchor on life ... parts of your soul ... and healing .... without even an understanding of how it is happening, it is actually a portal to relieve pressure on your inside world in a positive way ....

❤️💕💜🍅❣🐚🐠🌷💐🌺💙☕️💕

Thanks @Zoe7. I think this week I've just been kicked a few times too many. You are right though it is hard to get up when you've had a hard night. I just also wanted to say you are already making a really positive impact in the forum. Welcome it's lovely to have you here💜🤗

My inner world is owning me @Faith-and-Hope. I am pretty seriously f****d up at the moment. Even driving my son today I am justifying bad stuff. But I have to find a way through because them having a funeral the week before Christmas would seriously be messed up. I can't ground myself at the moment or find a way to get back where I was. I know what you wrote is a type of grounding activity. I think lots of things have just added up to make me fall over and I can't get up. About 6 weeks ago I became lactose intolerant and my coffee went out the window with part of my routine. I've been resentful of that since. I have not been coping with any part of my life. For the last week I have only eaten packets of shapes and the kids are fending for themselves and I am stuck in my head and haven't been seeing what is going on around me. I am resentful of stuff I shouldn't be. At the moment I'm afraid I'm too far gone to find anything positive in my future. But I know I have to try and get out of bed and try to start doing something each day. This household is pretty messed up because of me and things are really hard with the dynamics. I just found out someone tried to copy my self harm from the other day and ended up in hospital on the same night.

I know so much of what you wrote makes sense but I am struggling to get out of my head long enough to follow much. I hope that tomorrow will get better. But you reached me and I cried which isn't a bad thing, I need to be reached otherwise I'll disconnect with everyone again and it will be easier to leave. So sorry for the really down and out post. I really needed to get some stuff out.