Feeling Gutted and agitated

ah, ok. I've thought about doing a will, but not gotten around to it either (plus wouldn't make any difference at the moment anyway!). However i hope that a will isn't something that will be needed for you for a long time yet... they are expensive to do... my ex-had one made for 'us' years ago and i think it ended up costing nearly a thousand dollars!!

hugs

lj

Thats why I am scared of lawyers. They prey off our fear. Maybe I will just follow the kit I have and hope it is sufficient and put in my post document box.

Arghhh @Appleblossom. The great overwhelm gets us all. I am ok. I think I've learned a lot about myself in recent weeks. I've learned who I don't want to be but not so much who I do just yet. I'm glad you've picked up a bit too.

Has your son come home yet? I think when we are in so close with our kids it's hard to have distance with anything. It seems like you've had that space to look at your path ahead a bit. I have too and it's still bloom'n overwhelming but I'm hoping to manage it a bit better for now, well at least until I go down that rabbit hole again. I have yet to settle property and get personal things from my old house I walked out of 3 yrs ago. I'm slowly getting to the point of doing it but there's lots of logistics involved. Anyway such is life. It will get settled eventually. My ex is in no hurry as it suits him this way. I hope you continue to improve.

All the mental health professionals think that me being so inconsistent with my antidepressants has also let to my latest breakdown so I'm trying to behave with them all. Lastly when I left hospital I was actually given two scripts, one prn and one to help sleep. I think this will help too, finally trusted💜 Except my psychiatrist will have a small fit when he finds out, not my circus not my monkeys😉

Take care @Appleblossom. Lovely to see you around again💜🤗

Its a lovely saying isnt it @Former-Member.. so nice to have something we arent responsible for. Those scripts will help you til you get a bit more stable.

I am making sleep a gentle priority, after my year of topsy turvy. I will have 2 mornings pw that I need to be out of house before 9, so will work around that,. the antipsychotic I take at night helps sleep.

My son will come home on Friday, but yoyo a bit between here in town and his father's in the country. Its actually really good for him to get out and about. He has been living in his batcave for a long time ... Still not driving, I thought they would do that. He is reducing some of his choir commitments but looking at other things which is fine. I just had to get him out of house on a regular basis. The choirs have done their job. He began the conversation by agreeing to do household tasks of half hour per day and to make list or roster. So that is huge and shows he is thinking responsibly. Yes he did plenty of yardwork and kitchen duty at his dads. its just mum he puts off all the time.

Slowly making plans forJanuary for me.

That all sounds like nice steps forward @Appleblossom. I hope your son helps out more, it sounds like he is growing up a bit too. I think it will work well sharing him for a bit. A chance to breathe and a chance to share your son's life💜😊

So it is a bit better for me now.

I dont know how you manage with a house full. how aware are they and concerned about your hospital visits.

Not very I don't think @Appleblossom. However the recommendation from hospital is that a social worker comes to meet with them. I need help to sort it better. There have been so many times where I have thought that the kids have a roof over their heads now so I can leave and they can sort it out but I feel like I still have responsibilities. I have to be here for at least until youngest is 18. My counsellor is coming to my house next week to help me sort it out with them and talk to them. I'm scared but I concede it has to happen. She's wanted to come for weeks. When the eldest moves back in in February it will be like a time bomb will be detonated unless we sort it now before he comes back. He is very assertive and will rock lots of emotional boats in my house. None of this is major but not being very assertive I lose control of everything quickly and hide in my bed and the depression builds until I crack. Even the dog has owned me this last few months. So it's time to stand up a bit with support. The hardest part for me is consistency.

Well from my reading of the situation the SW should have stepped in earlier and dealt with it in-house. Nicely. Make it a bit about tasks and a bit about your emotional state. To get help and have them responding to you a little, but getting on with their own stuff too. Teenagers can often be good and rational and have some family sessions with them all present.

I had an auntie who ended up leaving her 3 children half siblings ... but they were older ... she left the house and they lived together for a year .. and they became friends and pulled through ... but there were no drugs (2 kids of my uncle's suicide in my horror year.) Also my brother kids .. actually lived together for a year in teens early 20s ... it can help them grow up. As they can detach the person from the role .. and realise that tasks need doing ..

The good thing about those 2 scenarios is that they did not get out of hand. The kids had suffered cos of the parent suicides and knew worst case ... so tried to figure life out with honesty.

Frankly, it would be hard to heal enough in the short hospital stays you have had. I did not quite understand the reasoning behind the care team. If they want things managed in the community then I would think that means house visits.

My cats have owned me for years.

I hope I did not express that too strongly. I just feel for you @Former-Memberand thinking of ways that are effective to help. I know I couldnt cope with my neck in a house with teens.