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Hi All

Fallen1Casual Contributor20 June 2020, 9:40 am AEST

Hi All

Hi, I am new here and seeking support due to battling with my own mental illness due to a turbulent past couple of years.

My partner has been recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and is being treated. Although this diagnosis has been a difficult one, it did not come as a surprise. The past few years has been intense and dysfunctional to the point of turning 'toxic', and therefore has had affect on my own health and wellbeing. I love him deeply and have tried to support him. However, I am at breaking point and feel as though I do not have any faith left in us having a happy functional life together.

I am also seeking psychological support and see my psychologist on a regular basis, though I feel speaking to people who may be caring for a loved one with BPD and able to share their knowledge and coping strategies may be helpful.

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In response to: Hi All

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor31 July 2020, 7:57 pm AEST

Re: Hi All

I'm so glad to hear things are stable. You are doing an awesome job juggling your mum, your daughter and a full time job! You really need to be commended on your dedication. Being a carer for someone with BPD, in itself, is a big demand.

What an amazing idea! - giving your daughter the BPD for dummies book so she can highlight what may work. I'm so glad she is agreeing to it.

It's a great start. Take each day as it comes. If things tip, it's not because you are doing something wrong.

You're efforts are sensational!

Good on you Mum @Nells !

Looking forward to hearing how you are travelling.

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Hi All

NellsSenior Contributor11 Aug 2020, 9:55 pm AEST

Re: Hi All

Hey @BPDSurvivor! Just checkin in. How have you been? Miss BPD is somewhat stable at the moment. Had 2 weeks where she was up all night and slept all day but she has righted herself now. She tells me she has had a couple of rough patches but has gotten herself through them. The reading is going well.. it certainly is a complex issue.. I’ve been trying to to be so smothering and so far it seems ok. My next challenge is to get her to do some sort of exercise.. She is not one for leaving the house let alone go for a walk! Hope you are staying safe and well x Thinking of you

In response to: Re: Hi All

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor12 Aug 2020, 11:05 am AEST

Re: Hi All

So good to hear from you mum @Nells !

She's so lucky to have you supporting her. Yes, smothering definitely does not help. Our bodies are very resilient and adaptable things. Not sleeping properly for a while is challenging but I guess here, it has sorted itself out. And you are right in saying she needs to get out for some exercise. Sometimes when we are upset, It is difficult to make ourselves get out. However the benefits of getting out are phenomenal. I make myself get out for a walk every day even if it's just around the block. It definitely helps with sleep. I hope she can see the benefits and perhaps find the will to go out.

All the best.

Keep us updated.

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Hi All

NellsSenior Contributor26 Aug 2020, 7:11 pm AEST

Re: Hi All

@BPDSurvivor Hello! Hope you are keeping well! Miss BPD was doing well but today she text me details of a mental health unit. This is her was of saying she is struggling. I am happy to admit her if she really needs it but after a couple of days she wants to leave.. Do you think they are beneficial? I think I need to read the chapter on changing thought patterns.. Any suggestions? Xx

In response to: Re: Hi All

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor26 Aug 2020, 8:18 pm AEST

Re: Hi All

Hi Mum @Nells !

Great to hear from you. I'm glad MissBPD has been doing better. While the world is in crisis, it sounds like she's in a better place than most.

As for the mental health unit, unless it was for and admission for immediate risk (few days), they are not the most therapeutic for BPD. Mental health units (psychiatric wards) increase the dependency of borderlines. It makes them think they 'need' someone to care for them, give the medicine, remind them went to eat, remind them went to sleep. Borderlines feel safe in this environment however it takes away all the responsibility to manage themselves. Management of BPD must be from within not without (external enforcements like hospitals). This is why it is not recommended that borderlines remain in hospital for more than a few days.

On the other hand, there are special units which run programs daily to support the development of a coping tool box. You can be an outpatient and arrive for the programs each day. There are some borderlines who benefit from an inpatient stay such as those who have comorbidities or require observation during medication changes.

I think it is important to have this discussion with MissBPD. It is not about you not wanting to help her, but you want something more permanent - more than just a band-aid solution. Once again, I emphasise the need for talking therapies - it takes months to retrain her brain, not a hospital stay.

I hope this helps.

I look forward to hearing from you.

BPDSurvivor

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