5 Day Online Event! You Are Not Alone - Crisis Advice for Family, Friends & Carers

Hi @NatureLover and thanks for reading and responding. And glad that you might find the Wellness Recovery Action Plan helpful. There is a version you have to pay for but it's also possible to find free versions. It's 8 years since I started mine so things might have changed. I update it periodically and last time I did I managed to find a WRAP workbook for $20 which I think was on Amazon. It has all the templates in it and might be adequate to set up a new one. It's invaluable as a resource for me ( e.g. I can look at my toolbox, or when things are changing what to look out for) and also for those close to me. One thing I have done is choose 3 people (which have changed occasionally) to nominate to have access to the WRAP and inform if I change it. These are the people in my family who I trust and respect the most and who might have to act if a crisis did eventuate and who would help me in recovery, but could be anyone not family too - it's up to you who you choose, even if it's just one person. Those who care most about me and a couple who have been my carers have said they really find it helpful. (Even if there is no-one the WRAP is extremely helpful in self-managing).

SNAP! @Appleblossom thanks for your reply too. I understand about the vulnerable places a discussion like this can take us to. Thankyou for your brave sharing also. I can appreciate you've experienced both sides of the coin. I feel validated by your response about my story being my story.

Sending ever do gentle thought your way @eth and can see a parallel in the struggles you have had coming back to those of Mr Darcy.

I have a feeling that Mr Darcy's wellness plan is based on WRAP, it is so helpful to have a documented plan.

I needed to advocate very strongly to get Mr D off certain meds which I felt had made him worse not better; his mood certainly stabilised once he was off them which is one of the reasons why I am a fan of mood charting which he did diligently for a while. He is so concerned about these meds that he has included something about them in his advance care directive. As he is tapering off a med that has helped keep him stable due to side effects ☹️ I have suggested he recommence doing this.

@eth processes were so different all those years ago and so limited. You have strategies in place that you use that I'm sure would be so helpful for others to hear about. I have found sharing life experiences helps. I miss the face to face and I'm trying to get the online working for me. Hope it gives you support again. I was interested to hear you have been in and out of forums. This made me feel ok about not being able to manage to consistently follow along. Thanks!

Thanks @Former-Member and @Windflowers It's good to hear that some of what I've done and am doing can be helpful for others. That's all I hope for here. I found it helpful today to write so much here and elsewhere including journalling offline. @Windflowers mostly the times I've been away were when I was travelling without my computer and when I moved here and couldn't get the forums to work on my new laptop for some months. So not entirely by choice. Having been around for so long there were some close friends who I could pick up where we left off with and didn't need to tell my story in detail again. We really do form strong bonds here over time. Also some shorter periods where I just needed to not spend so much time online in order to get my own mh priorities in order after months of 'going down the rabbit hole' and being here many hours a day. People here are always very understanding when they realize your absence is for self-care reasons, and very welcoming when you return. There is no pressure on any of us to be here constantly.

@Former-Member I too have side effects (I call them undesired effects) of some of my meds. Mainly weight gain and extreme constipation. But my Dr's have found a couple of other meds that help with those things, including one to improve my insulin response and a supplement made from psyllium fibre. I do at times feel like I'm fairly rattling with the number of things I have to take daily, but recognize that they are keeping me more stable than I've ever been before. One of those benefits outweighing the negatives situations. I hope your hubby is weaning off gently and has medical supervision while he does it. It does sound like monitoring through charts would be helpful. This is a good one : https://www.bipolar-lives.com/bipolar-mood-chart.html

It can work well for other conditions too, not just bipolar. And the top section gives an at-a-glance view of any trends for better or worse. Both my psychiatrist and psychologist find it beneficial too.

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@eth wrote:

There is a version you have to pay for but it's also possible to find free versions...

One thing I have done is choose 3 people (which have changed occasionally) to nominate to have access to the WRAP and inform if I change it. These are the people in my family who I trust and respect the most and who might have to act if a crisis did eventuate and who would help me in recovery, but could be anyone not family too - it's up to you who you choose, even if it's just one person. Those who care most about me and a couple who have been my carers have said they really find it helpful. (Even if there is no-one the WRAP is extremely helpful in self-managing).

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@eth Thanks for those tips about the Wellness Recovery Action Plan. That's helpful. 🙂

And thank you for the link to the Mood Chart, too.

That is the exact chart Mr Darcy has used in the past @eth and yes, all med changes done under pdoc supervision. Have raised an

I did suggest to him today that it might be worthwhile doing the chart again. I think if I print it off he will mark the mood/ anxiety/ irritability scores, I usually fill out the rest to make it easier for him.

Constipation less of an issue now, it was when he was on his crisis meds and he was put in stool softeners. We did up dietary fibre intake to help combat this and as the meds were reduced so was the need for supplements but we have kept up the healthy diet.

Sounds like you're a very supportive carer @Former-Member and that your husband really trusts you. And on the ball re diet improvement. That chart is very comprehensive. The only thing I changed was to put nervousness instead of irritability, because that's what I have more often.

I may need a similar thing for the side effect I mentioned - it's been significantly worse the last couple of weeks even tho' nothing changed with my meds And the M... psyllium supplement even with an extra dose each day does not seem to working really well. I hadn't thought of getting a med for it so thanks for telling me. But also I know you're not supposed to keep using over-the-counter tablets for it for any length of time. It's a yucky thing to talk about so sorry everyone, but finding solutions for side effects is an important part of continuing to be compliant with prescribed meds.

@ethyucky or not, side effects do need addressing and Mr Darcy was often too embarrassed to say anything so I needed to speak up and handball it to the treating team who followed up on things after I reported them. After recent surgery Mr D had his digestive system was not working so well as evidenced by the "particularly foul smelling stool" Yikes Eth, it was that bad at first I thought the drains were blocked ... I had trouble telling his GP this as I was laughing perhaps a little too much 😂. We had been forewarned he might need something to help and thank goodness it made a difference. I reckon the only other alternative would have been to construct a back yard dunny for his use only.

Lol re the back yard dunny @Former-Member !!

Hi @Former-Member @Former-Member @NatureLover @Windflowers @Appleblossom and anyone else still following. Thought I would mention something that came up during the week. I was having disclosure about several events with my new psychologist (2nd session only) and when I spoke about how I had suicidal ideation for months before I actually did it she said that even the ideation can create trauma within us. Which I had not known but makes sense out of some of what I still deal with - including having found it hard to write about it all in this thread. It's hard to remember without reliving. Mentioning it because what that means is that whether it's ideation or acting on it, there is likely to be trauma responses and PTSD involved in the person's struggle too. Which is then extremely difficult for the carer to work with ... the only thing I can suggest is read up about how trauma post suicide attempt can manifest and tread gently. Even the person who does it may not be able to recognise the things that trigger their PTSD responses for some time afterwards.

I just googled 'post suicide attempt PTSD' and there are many articles and studies about it that you can read. I firmly believe that the best ally is an informed ally.