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Recovery Club

Seniors Matter

Seniors Matter

Senior Matters 'cause Seniors Matter!

Q&A

What do you picture when you think of a senior person?

What age decade do you think someone becomes a senior?

When should a senior retire?

How do other cultures treat their seniors?

When you think of 70 year olds acting like 50, or a 50 year old living like they're 70... The line becomes quite blurred, with who's 'older'

Of cause everyone would agree that an 80 year old is definately a 'senior' citizen.

So where is the official line that defines Aussies as Seniors?

The answer is 60 years old.

I applied for my seniors card, to try claim all the discounts (I never remember to ask for... when I received the card I was delighted to read the official letter thanking me for being such a wonderful contributer to the Australian community 😇👍 but deep down... something inside me screaming... I'M NOT OLD!

The years of constantly struggling with CPTD anxiety & depression... the years have got away with me and now, im old 😞.... reality is... my body is ageing... the mirror says so, there's wrinkles, there's grey and white streaks, its harder to move, I'm forgetful, i get nervous, lack confidence, I dither and rummage in my handbag, people are starting to pop off around me more, hospital doctors all look 12 yrs old and my friend's kids have grandkids.... This is entirely unacceptable state of affairs and I need support.

I go to the doctor... but sadly even doctors bother less with our aches and pains and worries. She says:

"All part of ageing" -

"not much we can do"...

"not much point doing an x-ray when it's almost definately just arthritis..." 😞 In other words

SUCK IT UP!

Why don't they just have a 'morning after 60 pill' or a euthenasia back door.. How can i face this ageing thing and all the sadness by myself when the doctors even don't care.? Really triggers the SI, how can they not know this and be kinda?

There

was a distinct difference in the way I'm treated since turning 60.

Always echoing in my mind is the comment a GP said about one of his older seniors "past her useby date" Oh dear, it's like we're already dead, but

we just gotta go on like we're not and won't. 😟 😞 Can't stop the decline. Just have to

- roll with the punches

- go with the flow

- age gracefully ...

But sadly, even in Mental Health, there's this undercurrent that "it's too late" for us seniors. Set in our ways they say... the less likely we are to change... and that might be true because we've seen so much, morphed for others a million times, and yes, kinda somewhat disillusioned with constantly changing systems that focus on money more than humanity... Sometimes I wonder if some structures are created to puff out the workforce more than service provision.

But truth is, my biggest hurdle is my deep beliefs about ageing.

- I planned to 'check out' at 50 because everyone gets sick after 50...

- i should have it all together at my age (ha, not happening, getting worse)

- the Kidz will bring the grandkids over for Sunday lunch and I'll love cooking for them... (not happening)

- my hubby will grow old with me, and talk together and hold me close every night. (didn't happen😞)

DOES ANYONE RELATE? OR HAVE A SENIOR ISSUE TO TALK ABOUT?

Appleblossom and Peace have raised senior issues this week...

- RETIREMENT and MOBILITY

I'm hesitant to reveal my age these days, so when it's non consequential, I take off 10yrs. People listen more to 52yr old than they do to 60yr old.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE 60 TO CHAT HERE. OR REVEAL YOUR AGE.

Just love to hear your experiences.

EOR 💌

136 replies

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In response to: Seniors Matter

Re: Seniors Matter

Actually, our Adult kids still hurt us so badly. I a couple of months ago I accidentally found out on Facebook that my oldest nephew (my sister's son) got married. Not only did I not even know but I wasn't invited. Today I finally got out of my son that the he was invited, told not to tell me. And he went. Which meant a trip to Sydney, couple of hours from me but couldn't even meet for coffee 😢 breaks my hert. But he also relayed how all his cousins inc him bitch about their "mad" mentally ill relatives, including me ,😢
Yeah, I know what you're thinking "she must be a monster, to be left out this way and treated so. Yep, it sure hurt

In response to: Seniors Matter

Re: Seniors Matter

Tried to reply, must be too tired and lost message. Will chat tomorrow, take care 🤗

In response to: Seniors Matter

Re: Seniors Matter

Thanks, great dau, and yours? Need sleep night night 🤗

In response to: Seniors Matter

Re: Seniors Matter

@Former-Member

I do hope your move goes well and that you will settle in well. I do remember you often and thought you were on a break/ being less active on the forums and did not know where to tag you or trigger you by asking how things are going. I have stepped back a little myself, have been a bit caught up with Mr D having a health problem requiring many appts.

I hope I can adequately pass on to you how grateful for the inspiration I got from you to declutter and to keep our new place relatively tidy. When we moved we did not need to store anything thankfully, only having a small wait between pickup and drop off with removalist. Since being inspired by you I have been able to gently encourage some others to do some decluttering themselves. 😁

In response to: Re: Seniors Matter

Re: Seniors Matter

Aww, shucks 🙁 - that's sweet of you to say @Former-Member. Thanx! Yes, i'm at it again... the 'declutter' and in such a short time :face_with_rolling_eyes: while paying storage... stupid hey... I'm not sure I'll ever learn to stop bringing stuff home. There's gotta be better things to do than shopping lol. I take breaks from here on and off, but visit in spits and spurts (responding mostly to where I'm 'mentioned' mostly. Really don't have the emotional energy...
Sorry to hear about Mr D's rolling health problems. Its so exhausting for you. I'm enjoying the telehealth service atm which might help you. Do remember to take those little self care 'me breaks' throughout each day. I really burned out being in Sydney around my two brothers with psychosis, on top of other carry-on. Sad but I had to get away. They just can't see outside their world most the time. Sad. I have to search for the positives, mostly found in nature, and really take in the good. We get so use to guarding against the strain, it blocks the good getting in. Takes work. Likevthat saying
"Life is difficult but not impossible"
Take care 💐

In response to: Re: Seniors Matter

Re: Seniors Matter

@Former-Member @Former-Member

Hey good to see you around. I am scaling back my time on forum. Mainly reading and keeping on touch a little, but I need to balance my digital and real life.

@Athena1 Welcome to the forum

@Former-MemberGreat to hear about your son's attitude to you moving closer and that your health scare is being looked after. Its very normal to be afraid of cancer. It is quiet and creeps up on people and not uncommon. So yes need to cherish the good, or relatively good things.

Your son was caught in a tough spot being the messenger of your extended family's celebrations and gossip. Best not shoot the messenger, even though the knowledge he shared was painful. He may have needed to process that scenario without visiting you... to get it all straight in his head. Maybe the good thing is that he was put off by them and is appreciating and warming towards you. We had a lot of similar things in our extended family, though at first it was more the poverty thing that was the issue. I tried to keep all bridges open, but stretched and tore. The shame about shabby clothing and not having a house or car etc. Never anybody to discuss things with...anyway ... best I face that, than keep hoping and putting myself in harm's way.

In response to: Re: Seniors Matter

Re: Seniors Matter

Hi @Appleblossim, wond red where you got to. You sound ok. Very disciplined woman aren't you 😇👍 Our families are both so complicated / damages / toxic. I can't believe how cruel my sister remains... and dragging my son in to secretly lie O me on their behalf. My sister specialises in replacing people. Her and her health worker hubby believe MI is a choice 🤨 so it stands to reason that they have no time or compassion for it. If my sis really sees me as he monster she portrayed to dad's NCAT tribunal, then that's the last thing I want so - I'm gone. Besides, I'm tired of the games. If they want to keep me in the box of suicidal grieving mum back those couple years after my girl died (and I really struggled), then I'm better off without it I guess. Move on the only answer. What's that saying... "Success is the best revenge" lol
Wonder what's on TV tonight, got the heat packs out for my back and earned a good movie or two 🎥🎬
Hope we all have a Good week. 💐🌷🍀

In response to: Re: Seniors Matter

Re: Seniors Matter

Thanks for the welcome @Appleblossom. I also don't do much social media, so won't checkin too much.

In response to: Re: Seniors Matter

Re: Seniors Matter

No worries @Athena1

Not always disciplined @Former-Member

There are so many things to cover in a life. How do we choose what to be disciplined about. We cant cover them all. I am happy these days if I just get some things done. Am pretty vague about most things these days, cept for pilling and feeding the cat. He reminds me as he has come to love being wrapped in a towel, with me gazing into his eyes before I open his mouth and pop it in.

I dont like the "we all free will" and "its a choice" types. There are small windows in our lives with a small amount of choices, leading to a great deal we cannot control. I think it is a form of hubris and a blame game.

Yep. Hope we all have a good week coming up.

@Former-Member @Eve7 @Former-Member @Peri and who feels this is a good thread for them ..

In response to: Re: Seniors Matter

Re: Seniors Matter

Dear @Appleblossom , @Former-Member , @Athena1 , @Former-Member , @Former-Member ,

t

wow, what an interesting post and what a lot to think about.

i do believe very much in fee will, but that does not mean that I think having a mental illness is a choice. I don’t. Not everything I life is a choice, but there are things I do have choices about along the way. And some of the choices that I have made, have made some aspects of my depression and anxiety worse.

What I can’t stand hearing is that happiness is a choice, believe me if it was I would choose it. But I do choose to find it in small moments. That maybe a moment in the sun, the first bite of an ice cream, being with my little granddaughter, a message from my son in England. The moment may pass quickly, but I do choose how I react to those moments.

this is a very good thread for me, to connect with others with life experience and all that and who face some of the same issues is good and helps me stop from focusing on my story so much.

peri

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