What helps you feel safe?

hello and welcome @Jane19

@NatureLover, @Faith-and-Hope , @outlander , @frog , @CheerBear , @MDT

Hi Jane19. I've experienced FEAR and anxiety in volumes throughout the years of my life due to trauma's. Mostly it is best not to fear the fear or the panic attacks and to name for what they are. Think of how you would treat a child or anyone for that matter, if they were suffering what you feel. How would you comfort them and talk them back to clear thinking.

CBT cognitive behaviour therapy is rather helpful. Do not allow anxiety to take control of your mind.

Hi @Jane19 @and welcome to the forums 👋

Many fear-based coping habits have built up slowly across a period of time in increments. Allowing them to dissipate in increments too is a good idea, once you recognise them for what they are. Similarly to treating an eating disorder where sufferers are slowly and carefully reintroduced to their fear-foods to help the learn that the foods are not something to fear, they begin to detach the "wrong" association with the foods and develop a more healthy, balanced relationship with their body, daily living, and their environment.

I hope this helps .... taking the baby steps. The forums are a place for others to walk along with you as you strengthen and recover, so you're not stepping up to it alone.

Hi @Gwynn @peace

Hi again @Jane19

Here is a forum tip we share with each other when we first arrive here on the forums .... putting an @ directly in front of someone's username tags them to your response and keys them know who you're talking to .....

OCD is part of the issues in our family .... I have an estranged husband who is caught in it big-time, but unfortunately it has caused him to trash our life and our family at the moment ..... I am picking up the pieces by degrees ..... but our younger son has this struggle in too, and is having to take the baby steps as I suggested to you. It's something that is quite ingrained in my soon2bX's family, as are other patterns that seemed to trigger in him as a mid-life crisis.

I am so glad you have the self-awareness to walk the recovery path ..... I am bearing witness to the effects of when that doesn't happen, unfortunately. He might get the help he needs further down the track, but it's way over now for us for all the other reasons he brought on board.

It might help to set up a bit of a self-reward system, like keeping a little log of your small successes as you go, and setting something special to do / have / buy / visit as a goal to work towards. It can help to take your focus away from the struggle a little, and think about something nice ahead of you.

@Faith-and-Hope Thanks for the tip!

That sounds like a tough situation. Yes baby steps are important, I hope your son goes well with his! A reward system is a good idea too