STRUGGLING TO FIT IN....FEELINGS TO PAINFUL TO HOLD IN ANYONE LISTENING...LEAVE THOSE PAINFUL THOUGHTS HERE..NO RESPONSES PLEASE OUT OF RESPECT

Hello dear @Bunniekins

My response would have been very confusing for anyone.

Given the fact that I was replying to something that you wrote on here back in May.

This is the thread where you responded to me in May.

If you scroll back it might make more sense.

Then again I often find that I have to rephrase things several times to my husband.

Yes I admit that I can confuse people, even myself.

When we have so much going on in our minds, as well as trauma (PTSD), understanding others can be more difficult.

Add to that equation, confusion from the person communicating with you...well

If it still does not make sense, no matter. I am probably complicating it even more.

Perhaps if I tell you that I used to send photographs of cows for your son to share, that might jog your memory?

Again, if not, no matter.

I remember you as a very warm, loving, humourous, cheeky in a wonderful way, green pea.

You certainly warmed the hearts of many,.

I truly am sorry to hear that you have acquired PTSD from events over a year.

I too have chronic trauma resulting from several situations over a period of decades.

It certainly takes it's toll.

Your description of how your son felt and now yourself is heartbreaking.

I hope that you have a pdoc with whom you feel safe and know that you can trust to continue working together, allowing a stronger sense of yourself to return.

I am going through this myself, have been for some time now and although hard work I am finding me.

I believe in you Greenpea, know that you have resilience and slowly, slowly you will find a place within yourself where you feel comfortable being you.

I hope that I have not rambled on too much.

love

Sophia 💚

@Sophia1 I do remember the cows :D. I remember showing my son2 the cows that you posted xxx. You are a kind person:). Please do not go away again. Pea needs all the friends she can get. Life can be unfair. People hold grudges and judge people over their mistakes when they are ill with psychosis ....Love peaxxx

@Bunniekins @Sophia1 @@Yes I have. You are a rock Greenpeace. To me and I'm sure others on the site. I feel in my darkest times that I wish I'd never had them so I would be free of torment and having fun. So it's a more selfish reason but I also fear what will happen. He is a gentle soul is intellectually disabled and has been used by people.

@Sweet_cheeks you have brought tears to my eyes. It is hard going isnt it when our beloved children are so vulnerable and as you say been taken advantage of. Hugs to you my friend am always here for you. Love peaxxx

@Sophia1 sweetheart if goes without saying that I am here whenever you need a friend. Just dont forget that. Love peaxxx

Dear @Bunniekins

I will never judge anyone for experiencing psychosis.

My family member is going through this quite frequently now.

It does frighten me.

I still know that he is there. My loving family member. Kind, generous and so much more.

I miss him dreadfully.

I do not know what the outcome will be and this is where I have to stop my mind travelling to.

I want for him some peace within himself and a quality of life that will comfort him.

I know that you are here for so many and thank you for including me. The same applies for me. I will always support you . Please do not think that I have deserted you if I take time out from here. I need to do this to stop myself spiralling backwards.

I like your name also @Sweet_cheeks

Sophia

Not having had any professional help, or medication plan as why would you? If you think that there is nothing wrong with yourself.

For all of you struggling at whatever stage, medication symptoms, or non medication, or psychosis. I want to send you a message that you are still a person with feelings and rights. Please be kind and gentle with yourselves.

I hope that you can find support from these forums. Something to ease your suffering if you are in that stage.

@Sophia1 @Sweet_cheeks Love to you both.xx

Only listen if feeling brave....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTuD8k3JvxQ