checking in

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@Lee71 wrote:

As for acting on thoughts, I'm in that ....No I should stop

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I know you're in a dangerous state of mind, Lee, and have been since I met you. Every morning I'm so happy to see you're still alive. @Lee71

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@Lee71 wrote:

@NatureLover I'm back to where again I have no hope and no desire for the future, I know how my life has gone so far, full of bad and then some. Had a few months recently where I was somewhat stable but should have known better, should have known it wouldn't last, it never has. I feel I am and my whole life is just been a waste of time, I'm a waste of space and good for nothing, and the list goes on but will stop it there cause I'm treading on dangerous ground.

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What is the saddest of all is that how you're feeling is not your fault, the abuse has drummed into you that you are a "waste of space", when you aren't. I am so sorry your life has been so bad, so damaging and hurtful, that you don't see any hope for the future. 😞

Thank you for sharing some of how you're feeling with me. It can't have been easy. I know you're not safe, not really. 😞 That's why I've been so sad for you lately, Lee 😞

@NatureLover see I've always struggled with it being my fault.

I felt I should share some of it with you, I owe you that much.

And you're right what you said about me

I think I might be right about you being not safe... But I reckon you haven't really been safe all this time we've been talking the last 2 months, anyway... That's why I can't keep calling a Moderator every day and every night. You've got a safety plan, and you know all the crisis numbers and you use them sometimes. It must be a living hell...well, I guess I've been there too, and it is a living hell. 😞

But you don't owe me anything at all, Lee. I am glad you shared some of it with me, as it kind of means there's a tiny bit of hope reaching out... Thank you for sharing when it's so hard. @Lee71

@NatureLover

I don't know what to say.

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@Lee71 wrote:

I don't know what to say.

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In a good way or a bad way?

If I've misunderstood then you can let me know, it's OK...

@Lee71

Hi @Lee71

I don't want to inturrupt your flow but, I just wanted to drop in quickly. I understand that it continues to be a really difficult time for you, but I just want to gently remind you and @NatureLover that we are here, we see you, we here you and we are sitting with you through it.

I can see that it is a tough evening for you, @Lee71 and I am a bit concerned, so I have sent you a private email just for another check in.

Warm Regards,

Basil.

@NatureLover no you haven't misunderstood, you were very accurate with what you said.

Just what happens now, I don't know

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@Former-Member wrote:

Hi @Lee71

...I just want to gently remind you and @NatureLover that we are here, we see you, we here you and we are sitting with you through it.

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Thank you, @Former-Member , that's a comfort to me.

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@Lee71 wrote:

@NatureLover no you haven't misunderstood, you were very accurate with what you said.

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OK...I'm sad to say. @Lee71

As for what happens now, what I hope will happen now may be different to what you're hoping... But I'm hoping for the mental health team to get back to you early next week, preferably tomorrow, with the referral to the psychiatrist for a meds review for you.

Either that or your GP referring you to a psychiatrist. Do you have another appointment with her booked at all?

@Former-MemberI got it and responded