Life changes - Covid-19 - our path back?

😞

@Former-Member my apologies, I had meant to respond to your good thread earlier.

I'm sorry you aren't coping and that you attempted suicide 10 weeks ago - it sounds like you've been through a horrific time. 😞

It's good you can see your therapist face-to-face each week, and for the first session of the day. I also use that strategy of the first appointment of the day as I have germophobia...it means driving in peak hour, but it's worth it.

I haven't been out much other than for groceries, and it's been getting harder to make myself leave the house. So in one sense, the easing of restrictions will be a necessary good for my agoraphobia which has got worse during the lockdown. But then again, a lot of people without agoraphobia feel the same I think. It sounds like you can relate.

Your 2 points /tips are very valid and positive - good for you. Good for me to take on board too.

Change is hard for me too, so my thoughts are that we are all going to have to make ourselves work harder to overcome our mental health struggles which may have worsened due to lockdown, once restrictions are eased.

Can I ask how your depression is now?

Thank you @NatureLover for replying.

I'm not glad that you can relate, because agoraphobia is awful and I hope you will take baby steps to leave the house.

I'm very overwhelmed at the moment because I'm getting triggered all the time 😞 I thought about doing a brain dump, I do that sometimes to just see all the stuff that's going on in my head, but I'm too tired, emotionally and physically. I'm tired and can't keep still. I haven't slept much in the last few months, but now... Keeping safe takes up all my energy. I'm sad and angry at times that I'm still here.

I'm trying to keep busy and do things I used to enjoy. I didn't leave the house today, my excuse was the bad weather, I did walk outside a couple of times to see if it got any warmer. I'll try to go to the shops tomorrow, 5min drives and quick stops in the shops will gradually make it easier. Or I might stay home for a few weeks to see how it all develops. I don't understand how they can change the restrictions so quickly. I can't even keep up with what they're doing.

I hope you have a nice evening.

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@Former-Member wrote:

Keeping safe takes up all my energy. I'm sad and angry at times that I'm still here.

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I want to say I hear you, and that you are doing really well to keep safe.

I'm losing energy fast as I do in the evenings, so need to go now but will reply more tomorrow..

@Former-Member

Good night @NatureLover

Hi @Former-Member , did you manage to get some sleep last night? I'm sorry you are suffering through lots of triggers at the moment.

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@Former-Member wrote:

I thought about doing a brain dump, I do that sometimes to just see all the stuff that's going on in my head...

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I think this is a brilliant idea - I've never thought of doing this before! Thank you for the tip. I hope you can get the energy to do one soon, if that's what you want.

Yes, I'm taking small steps to leave the house, but it's taking longer and longer to psyche myself up to do it. Sometimes days, or if it's a bad - stressful or very germy - appointment in my head, then I know I have to start psyching up weeks beforehand. Does it take you a long time to psyche up to leave the house?

I know what it's like to just survive for years on end, just trying to keep safe every day. It's incredibly difficult, so well done @Former-Member .