Medication blues

Last year I was put on a nasty medication for BPD, something I'd resisted for 8+ years with my previous doctor due to the common side effect of weight gain. Sure enough, my weight increased by 1kg per month, no matter what I did, for over 16 months.<br>Even worse was the feeling that I was wading through treacle every day, operating at 70%.<br>I eventually convinced my doctor that I couldn't stay on it, with hereditary health issues now right around the corner. So I was changed onto a better medication which I'd been on before but eventually became accustomed to, even at high dosage so it stopped working for me.<br>I've been much improved, operating at 85%, which has been better and a manageable level. But over the past couple of weeks, I've been veering up due to family stress and work stress. Today I worked 12 hours straight, the rest of the past month I've been doing 10 hour days - and this is an office job!<br>Tonight I cracked. Rang one of my sisters to sob down the phone, not wanting to upset my mum as she'd be terribly worried.<br>My sister helped talk me down, I made myself have a quiet evening and am drinking lavender and mint tea before bed. <br>What scares me most right now is that I won't be allowed to stay on this medication and will have to go back to the nasty one. I can't bear to go back to 70%, but I don't want to keep feeling strung out.<br>Family issues will resolve shortly when toxic sister goes back home (overseas, thankfully, so a safe distance!) but work is ramping up even more. I LOVE my work, adore my team and don't want to lose it. But I'm afraid that if I keep veering up, I'll lose the lot. Doctor is on holiday so I'm hoping I can get things under control before I see him on 11 August. Am trying to focus on positives, but am so worried about regressing. <br>Any suggestions to handle this beyond herbal tea would be most welcome!!