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Depressed

Alex32reddenSenior Contributor02 May 2020, 5:11 pm AEST

Depressed

Hi. My name is Alex. I am very deppressed and feel lonely all the time. I'm 25 in a few days and I've never had a girlfriend. I've been on dating apps for a long time but I haven't really had any dates. I feel very unattractive all the time. Sometimes I just pray I die of a heart attack or something. I really don't want to live anymore. Nothing is interesting. I have no motivation to do even small things. I think everybody knows I'm a loat cause. Nothing helps. I keep going up doses on my antidepressant but it's not helping. I'm hoping to try transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy soon. It will probably use up all my savings. I know that I crave physical touch. I'm not sure how normal that is. Every day someone says something that makes me feel more deppressed. I actually had a coping mechanism but my brother cut that off. I've also felt very stigmatized. I'm thinking of sueing people that stigmatized me. At least it will feel like I'm standing up for myself. But I'm worried the whole process will make more depressed. I'm just not sure how much longer i can go in this world. I have been seeing therapists but i honestly think they just make me feel worse

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In response to: Depressed

Alex32reddenSenior Contributor30 May 2020, 6:20 pm AEST

Re: Depressed

Depression of my emotional regulation system. I do not use the clinical name as the name itself is stigmatising and disrespectful.

In response to: Re: Depressed

NatureLoverSenior Contributor30 May 2020, 6:28 pm AEST

Re: Depressed

OK...I don't know of it. @Alex32redden

I only know of Major Depressive Disorder and Melancholia.

I want to say though that I haven't felt any stigma from mental health professionals with my Major Depressive Disorder. I can't understand any mental health professional showing stigma for any kind of depression, as it's kind of their job not to.

In response to: Re: Depressed

Alex32reddenSenior Contributor30 May 2020, 6:31 pm AEST

Re: Depressed

It's reffered by people as borderline personality disorder. And there is a lot of stigma towards it. I haven't received any stigma towards my deppression. My stigma from people was all about my psychosis.

In response to: Re: Depressed

Alex32reddenSenior Contributor30 May 2020, 6:32 pm AEST

Re: Depressed

Sorry to hear about your deppressive disorder. I know my deppressive symptoms are the most painful to live with. Despite their being less stigma towards it as I have received for my pschotic episode

In response to: Re: Depressed

Alex32reddenSenior Contributor30 May 2020, 6:34 pm AEST

Re: Depressed

I am in a complaint process with the law due to a business discriminating against me after finding out i had a psychosis

In response to: Re: Depressed

NatureLoverSenior Contributor30 May 2020, 6:41 pm AEST

Re: Depressed

Ah, thanks for explaining, @Alex32redden .

There are people on these forums with BPD. Would you be interested in talking with some of them?

In response to: Re: Depressed

Alex32reddenSenior Contributor30 May 2020, 6:41 pm AEST

Re: Depressed

Is there anybody at SANE that can help me? I'm feeling very hopeless

In response to: Re: Depressed

Alex32reddenSenior Contributor30 May 2020, 6:43 pm AEST

Re: Depressed

Yes. That would be good. Thanks. I also have deppression.

In response to: Re: Depressed

Unknown userMember30 May 2020, 6:49 pm AEST

Re: Depressed

Hi again @Alex32redden

Good on you for seeking support on the forum.I am so sorry to read that you are feeling very hopless this evening Alex and that you are wondering if SANE can help.

The SANE help centre is not open on the weekends. But there are other help lines that operate 24/7 such as Lifeline, Suicide Call back Service and Beyond Blue. If you are in crisis and need help now the only options on Saturday night is to attend a public hospital or ring 000 for an ambulance. Please reach out for support off the forums if you need help now,

Keep safe,

Whitehawk

In response to: Re: Depressed

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor30 May 2020, 8:25 pm AEST

Re: Depressed

@Alex32redden

It's great to hear from someone who has symptoms of BPD. I've had BPD for over 15 years, and you know what? I'm glad about it. If I did not have BPD, I would not be the person I am today. I would not be able to help the people I do, nor empathise with those such as yourself.

I'm not saying the journey is easy, but it sure is worth while. Thoughts of self harm and isolation may be chronic and my never go, but there's ways to work around it. There is not a day which goes by whereby I am free from suicidal ideation. In wish I didn't have them, but I do. This is when I remind myself that they are thoughts. If I can sit long enough with these negative thoughts, they WILL eventually go.

Dear @Alex32redden , please try looking at your symptoms through a different lens. Whether you have BPD or not, it doesn't matter. You feel alone and hopeless and it's totally reasonable. I'm so glad you have reached out.

I am proud to have been labelled a borderline. If anything, I want to share this amazing journey with you and that's why I'm here.

Please feel free to ask me questions about my BPD journey. I'd be delighted to share. I am not 'cured', but I've come a long long way. If you hang in there, things WILL shift.

All the best,

BPDSurvivor

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