Depressed

Hi. My name is Alex. I am very deppressed and feel lonely all the time. I'm 25 in a few days and I've never had a girlfriend. I've been on dating apps for a long time but I haven't really had any dates. I feel very unattractive all the time. Sometimes I just pray I die of a heart attack or something. I really don't want to live anymore. Nothing is interesting. I have no motivation to do even small things. I think everybody knows I'm a loat cause. Nothing helps. I keep going up doses on my antidepressant but it's not helping. I'm hoping to try transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy soon. It will probably use up all my savings. I know that I crave physical touch. I'm not sure how normal that is. Every day someone says something that makes me feel more deppressed. I actually had a coping mechanism but my brother cut that off. I've also felt very stigmatized. I'm thinking of sueing people that stigmatized me. At least it will feel like I'm standing up for myself. But I'm worried the whole process will make more depressed. I'm just not sure how much longer i can go in this world. I have been seeing therapists but i honestly think they just make me feel worse