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Hi. My name is Alex. I am very deppressed and feel lonely all the time. I'm 25 in a few days and I've never had a girlfriend. I've been on dating apps for a long time but I haven't really had any dates. I feel very unattractive all the time. Sometimes I just pray I die of a heart attack or something. I really don't want to live anymore. Nothing is interesting. I have no motivation to do even small things. I think everybody knows I'm a loat cause. Nothing helps. I keep going up doses on my antidepressant but it's not helping. I'm hoping to try transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy soon. It will probably use up all my savings. I know that I crave physical touch. I'm not sure how normal that is. Every day someone says something that makes me feel more deppressed. I actually had a coping mechanism but my brother cut that off. I've also felt very stigmatized. I'm thinking of sueing people that stigmatized me. At least it will feel like I'm standing up for myself. But I'm worried the whole process will make more depressed. I'm just not sure how much longer i can go in this world. I have been seeing therapists but i honestly think they just make me feel worse
Thanks for the support. I'm actually trying to work out if I have BPD. I have deppression which I think causes a lot of negative emotions. And also the last year has had more hurtful things happen to me than my entire life put together. How would I know if I have BPD? Or just deppression? I'm not sure. I'm definitely a highly sensitive person and have always had intense emotions. But how would i know if i have BPD? I mean I know it's just like a label for a spectrum of emotional regulation but I want to know how i would know. Thanks and hope you can help.
In response to: Re: Depressed
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Depressed
@Alex32redden have you considered checking yourself into the hospital to get yourself more support?
with BPD there is often a criteria to meet however I would suggest to speak to a psychiatrist (they can diagnose you) about it.
a lot of mh conditions overlap with many many symptoms, theres often just a few more standout features of each diagnosis that defines them
In response to: Re: Depressed
Alex32reddenSenior Contributor
Re: Depressed
Thanks for the help. I actually don't really believe in labels like BPD etc. I just see it as emotional regulation problems etc. And I find the DSM criteria usually a load of ****. I wouldn't really trust someone to diagnose that. But I do know that I feel like I still have depression. Not as bad as it was a frw months ago when i was on dopamine blocking antipsychotics but I know when I feel emotionally hurt and angry it drops into a very severe deppression causing suicidal thoughts. I know that my motivation is low at all times and drops to non-existent in tne emotional episodes. I'm just trying to know if my emotional stuff is like BPD. It's the deppressive symptoms- particularly apathy, amotivation and ahnedonia that cause me the suicidal stuff. Is this like sufferers of BPD?
In response to: Re: Depressed
NatureLoverSenior Contributor
Re: Depressed
@Alex32redden , was just wondering how you're doing?
In response to: Re: Depressed
Alex32reddenSenior Contributor
Re: Depressed
I'm good thanks. Thanks for the checkup. Starting a 60 day biohacking thing so hope that helps.
In response to: Re: Depressed
NatureLoverSenior Contributor
Re: Depressed
Am glad and relieved to hear you're feeling better, @Alex32redden , this is good news! 🙂
I had to google "biohacking" and I'm not quite sure what it involves, but I hope it works for you...
In response to: Re: Depressed
Alex32reddenSenior Contributor
Re: Depressed
Thanks. I'm doing my own one. Pretty much everything. Very healthy eating, supplements, candida cleanse, meditation, daily sauna, morning run, cold water exposure, neurotherapy, and much more
In response to: Re: Depressed
NatureLoverSenior Contributor
Re: Depressed
Wow! This all sounds good...but what's neurotherapy?
@Alex32redden
In response to: Re: Depressed
Alex32reddenSenior Contributor
Re: Depressed
It's for sleep and amygdala regulation. It's like brain training games but much more scientific and much more boring. It's training the sleep parts of my brain through operant conditioning (reward)
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