Saying Hi and asking some questions

Hi everyone

I am recovering from a huge depression episode. In early May I had a stress-induced Heart attack was diagnosed with diabetes so I experienced the triple whammy.

Since last September I was isolating myself and unable to reach out for help this caused financial crisis huge issues with my partner who is very supportive. The heart attack was a huge wake-up call and I am now on new medication.

One issue I am having is that my sleep cycle is damaged. Although I am working on this I am wondering whether the medication could be affecting my sleep cycle?

Today I have been very "activated" "nervous" and "speedy"... and finding it difficult to sleep.

I know this is a pattern with my CPTSD and depressive episodes.

I am doing the right thing and putting all supports in place.

I am also an ex Health care worker and have been having difficulty with the State mental health services who have triaged me as a non-urgent case.

My friends are saying I should apply for the DSP and I have looked at the scales and feel I fit them but I would like to return to work but want to take baby steps.

I am also going through a Civil action connected to my childhood abuse issues, receiving psychological support but have only been offered a Medication review by the state Mental Health team and can ring the Outpatients centre if I am running rough.

I think I need to see a Psychiatrist and a Clinical Psychologist but can only receive 10 sessions via Medicare.

The last four years has been sheer hell as I was retrenched from a Senior role in a Medical area and lost my confidence and used savings as I was too shattered to try either retraining or at age 57 start looking for a new career.

Last August I started a training course but lost confidence and stopped attending due to my depression and not seeing a future.

I want to be a good partner and a good grandfather and father to my adult daughter and a supportive partner and I know I can do this now that I have supports in place.

So my questions do I ride out insomnia and see this current "activation" as a combination of a response to the medication which is lifting the depression, as well as part of my depression changing and the adrenal and serotonin levels shifting creating insomnia?

I am also finding that I cannot sit down and relax and either work on reports for a project or enjoy watching movies. Is this just a part of the medication response and the depression lifting?

I understand that the early stages after "the crash and burn " of chronic depression can be very bumpy..

Anyway thanks for letting me vent a little and would appreciate any advice support or encouragement.

Thanks for your compassion and support.