Fear of intimacy

I have just written a letter to my therapist. I have put it in an email but haven't sent it. i will print it on saturday before i see him.

I need to focus on this topic, even though its tough.

And love, what is love? I don't even know now if I still love my husband or if i am in love.

Too much stress going on, think i need to take it easy and slow.

boy i wish i was in hospital, wish they would hurry up and call me.

Hi @BlueBay

I don't even know whether I will still feel like I am in love with my husband when our situation, God willing, is resolved in some way .... but I want to love him ....

I want to make things better and find a place where we can be in love with each other again .... so that is what I am giving my attention to .... just doing everything I can to find help for him, and keep our family together, and get through the daily life stuff along the way ...

I am living in faith and hope, just like my name, that he will be diagnosed, treated, and when we have worked through the struggles that even all that will involve, we will still have a relationship with each other, and want to love each other and be there for each other ....

At the moment, for me, it's about waiting for the tide to turn, but when it does, there will be more big waves and feelings of insecurity to face up to .... and I know from all the care and concern everyone is showing here on the forum, you will all be helping me to keep swimming through it all .... especially at those times, like you are experiencing now, when it all just looks like endless ocean.

It doesn't stay that way. Life changes, and every year will be different. We have to try to make each year better than the last one.

That is how I have made my way through a lot of difficult years, and it is how I intend to get through the next few difficult years.

Wishing you courage and strength to persevere ...

💜🌷

@BlueBay

I am glad I said I would not be around much this week - I have the chance to drop in

Writing letters to other people can be a time bomb with a short fuse and long lasting events - ah you've tried that - as I have - not good

Sometimes people just don't get it -

But a journal - you can write what you like and no one knows - I kept one for the last few years of my marriage and among the forgotten moments of life was the bitterness and hate I had toward my husband - and I burned it

But I think I kept this to myself

Before you make any decisions about your life - you need that time in hospital - I hoped you be there by now

Thinking of you

Decadian

Hi Riley

Great to see you here - welcome to the website

It is good to have a bit of male imput here - I know people don't belong in boxes but there are males and females

You are right - a man wanting sex when his partner is not in it - not good - the relationship is lacking a degree of sensitivity - likewise with anyone I guess

Decadian

Hi Sadgirl

I read through your thread - there is a huge difference between loving someone and being in love

As time passes the new glow of love wears off - I have an idea that two people marry when they are friends - time passes life has problems - the love can wear thin - and whatever the basis of the marriage is can wear off if one partner is struggling and the other doesn't get it

Personally - a man might want sex - and if he has a wife handy she is suppose to oblige - but sex should not be an obligation - it needs to be a pleasure for both -

What should I say and what not to say - I was told that my husband found me attractive - yes - I believe he did - but when it came to sex he wanted affection - and as the years went on that affection was not working - I needed so much more

All I can say is that I understand - and this is not the time for him to push you - and his lack of interest in your therapy is part of it - he doesn't get it

I miss my son too - I understand that feeling very well

Decadian