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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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Re: Darkness

I'm so sick of this life @Eve7

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Re: Darkness

Oh hun I’m sitting with yo

💜❤️💜

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hi @Eve7

Sorry to read you are struggling with thoughts of SH. Please reach out to the crisis support services or your other offline supports if you need to. And please stay safe yeah.

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@Lee82 , I am here sweetie. I know how you feel as I needed you as well, making the decision to stay away from the fourms was really hard as you and my other friends are one of the strongest support systems I have. But I finally had to admit that it is not always a good choice to be here. Sometimes as much as I want to lend a supportive listening ear, I have ignored warning signs that the topic was triggering me or I would get so upset that someone I care about was struggling and then it would cause way to much anxiety waiting to hear back from them and when it's you let's just triple that anxiety.


I have missed you, @Emelia8 @Anastasia @outlander @Zoe7 @Eve7 @Shaz51 @Sans911 @Angels333 @MDT @Bunniekins @NatureLover (I know I have forgotten some friends 😔 sorry) a lot and still think of everyone daily. I don't want to make a promise I don't know that I can keep but I will try to be here some more.

Mel, love you more than you could possibly know. Izzy

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@Former-Member

@Eve7 @Lee82 @Emelia8 and everyone...silly phone won't cope with the new tagging hiccups probably only due to phone hugs to all xox

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@Former-Member Dizzyizzy!! so good to see you :D. You have been missed my friend. My beautiful izzy. I understand completely. Just dont forget the pea and how much she loves you. How much we all love you. peaxxx

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@Former-Member Dizzyizzy i have a secret too .... in fact many from when I was ill. I am always here for you and what is more I understand as my secret or secrets would rip my family apart too. So I have to hold onto them and never let them go regardless of how sick they are making me. Here for you always. Your friend pea. xxx

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Hi @Former-Member
Its nice to see you. Thanks for the tag. Its always good to see you. Take care please. No pressure 🙂

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

My dear @Former-Member .... Its so good to hear from you. 😊💖

As much as it pains me to say it ... if you ever find it detrimental to your MH to be here at any time ... then its best that you are not here. So please please ... take heed of your inner signals and know when you need to self care and not be here.

I know what you mean about the forums being one of the strongest support systems some of us have. But it should NEVER be to your own detriment, no matter how much you care about others here and want to support them.

Everyone here understands the need to go offline for self care occasionally. So please do not feel guilty for needing to do that at any time. I really hope that you are doing well enough that you can be here a little more regularly, both for your own benefit and that of so many of your friends here.

But please listen carefully to your mind and your body, so you can accept when its better to be offline and safe from further triggers.

So much love and admiration for you dear Izzy. Big hugs for little Kimmy too. Have any of you been in the paint room lately I wonder? Any more beautiful paint pouring masterpieces to show us?

Emelia 💞🤗

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Izzy I love you always.
I will always be here for you.
I understand it may be hard for you to be here but I'm hoping that you will be able to be here a little more as time goes on mainly because I will then Know that you are doing better but also because I miss you.
stay safe my beautiful friend and be kind to you.
@Former-Member ❤️❤️❤️

hi to @Emelia8 @Anastasia @Bunniekins @Snowie @NatureLover @Sans911 Hope you are doing ok. Sending you love and hugs 💚

@Eve7 i am so very very sorry about last night. That was not ok. I should have been there to support you and I wasn't. That is not good enough.
I hope you are feeling a little better today my friend and that you forgive me. 💙

@Zoe7 thinking of you my friend. 💜

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