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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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@Former-Member @Lee82 You are both strong and resilient - even if you do not see it at times yourselves. Wishing for you both in the future light, courage and love

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness


@Lee82 wrote:

I really didn't have a choice about hospital so it was pretty much forced on me but it is all done now so I am happy about that. How are you doing my friend?
@NatureLover 💚


@Lee82 I was away with burnout unfortunately when all that went down, how you went into hospital. Well done for getting through it and being away from your kids, that must have been heartbreaking 😞

I still have the burnout and my psychologist has recommended 3 months away from the forums and supporting anyone. I am still thinking about it, as that's a long time and I would miss everyone.

In response to: Darkness

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Hi @Lee82,

things are tough, I just came out of hospital myself due to a SI attempt. So glad to be home!
Currently trying to catch up on my study as I'm behind abit. Things are tough.

im safe safe

@Former-Member @Zoe7 @NatureLover @outlander @Anastasia - I hope you are all well.

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Sending you lots and lots of love @Fluttershy1 xxxx

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Thankyou hun, @Anastasia,

hows you? Xx

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I'm ok sweetie, thank you x

@Fluttershy1

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Hi everyone. I hope you all have been doing ok. Sorry I havent been around lately. I have been super busy. Hthings have been tough for me these last few days. I'm not going to lie it has been a struggle.
feeling very sorry for myself and feeling super guilty. Spent 4 weeks In hospital and I don't feel like I have made progress. Still feel like I want to hide from the world. Being triggered left right and centre and having a lot of SI.

Been sitting by mums pool all day. How can you be in a depressive state when this is what your view looks like but all I want to do is go home and hide under my blanket in the dark. So damn frustrated and over feeling this way. Feeling like nothing excites me. Feeling like I get no enjoyment out of anything. Feeling so ungrateful. Feeling sad and extremely low.
@Former-Member @NatureLover @Anastasia @Zoe7 @Eve7 @outlander @Snowie @Emelia8

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Hi @Lee82 I’m so sorry it’s tough and I can relate as it’s hard when you come out of hospital and everything seems the same as before.

I often sit by my pool feeling sorry for myself and think I’m just ungrateful even now that I’m keeping a gratitude journal.

It’s just super hard to turn things around when we’ve been so unwell.

If we’d had surgery we wouldn’t expect to be jumping around all healed and this is the same.

Recovery is a bit like labour...hard and painful but hopefully new life (beginning) will happen...I hope.

Sitting with you hun, be kind to yourself.

xox

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I do not have much myself to give tonight but sending you some extra squishy hugs and a whole load of love @Lee82 ...and @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Thank you gorgeous. I know it will take a long time to heal but I am starting to worry that I will never heal and I will be like this forever.
how have you been doing

@Eve7

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