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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hi everyone, Kim here (16yrs). I know Nikki has been struggling a lot lately and has not been as active as she and Izzy would normally be and I know they are both missing you guys and your support so much. I am here to let you know that unfortunately it is going to be worse for a while. We had a call this morning from a very close friend and she told Nikki that her hubby passed away in his sleep last night, he was only 45. Izzy and Nikki have been friends with this couple for 20 years and the death of him has hit them hard. It has knocked them sideways. Sean is ever present and watching over us a little more than normal which is to be expected as we do not deal well with death ever. Our friend was a devoted dad of 4 and just became a grandad a role which he loved and always had baby with him every chance he had. He could be an ar*e but he was never cruel, would help you out without question. He had a very caring soul and loving nature. He is going to be missed by so many. The world just lost one of its true and rare humans, without his smile the world just got a little darker and without his laughter the world lost some joy. Rest in peace my friend

@Lee82 @Anastasia @Emelia8 @Schitzo @MDT

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh nooooo .... Kim I am so sorry to hear that news. That's just awful ... and I'm sure both Izzy and Nikki are feeling totally devastated. They lost another friend only recently too. So dreadfully sad for all of you. Thanks Kim for letting us know, because all of you have many friends here who care about all of you very much. Kim can you please give both Izzy and Nikki a big squeezy hug from me, and let them know I am thinking of them at this time. And one for you too Kim, I'm glad they have you to come to the fore when needed. @Former-Member

Emelia 💔😔

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh my love I am so very sorry to hear that. That is absolutely devastating. Thank you so very much Kim for letting us know. I have you all in my thoughts.
sending you all a gentle hug and a hand to hold.
💗🙏💗

my heart breaks for you my beautiful BFF and tears are in my eyes. 💔

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member

Hi Kim,

Thank you for informing everyone about Nikki's friend. It's very sad news, you all have my deepest sympathy.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this most difficult time.

Take care

Schitzo ❤️ xx

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh so sad, I am so sorry 😭😭😭

Thank you for letting us know Kim.

Please hug Nikki and Izzy tightly.

You are all special to me @Former-Member

❤️💙💛💚

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Unfortunately I know that pain @Former-Member (Kim) so very much thinking of you and sitting with you

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thanks everyone, struggling with emotions tonight cannot stop them thinking about his family and what they are going through. Knowing that they will have support 24/7 as long as they need from family and friends is great but also means that Izzy can't go see them as there will be too many people for her CPTSD. I am going to try an sleep now but highly unlikely.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey Kim. How is everyone feeling today hun? How are you going? I haven't stopped thinking about you beautiful.
love you unconditionally, always and forever ❤️
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey Mel, they are really emotional still an will be until the funeral I think. They (Nikki & Izzy) haven't been present at all today but I can still feel them and have been crying most of the day because of how strong their emotions are. I hope you are ok a s that the boys are well. ❤️Kim

@Lee82

@Zoe7 , I am very sorry for your lost Zoe, it certainly knocks the stuffing right out of you. Kim

@Emelia8, hi Em, yeh we lost a high school friend only a short while ago. This was just so unexpected, he was an ox and you could have pictured him outlasting is all. Only the good go early😔❤️Kim

@Anastasia & @Schitzo , thank you for your support it means a lot. Kim

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member Thanks Kim. I very much get that unexpected and sudden loss - it is heartbreaking. I have a photo of my friend in a prominent place with other things important ot me around it so he is never out of my sight or mind - that is the least I can do to remember him always. Maybe Nikki/Izzy could do something similar - but only when they are ready. Hugs and hugs Hon

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